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From the author: How to accept the weakness of a loved one In fact, everyone has some kind of weaknesses, even if we are very stable and stable in life. Yes, you can just really love candy, but that’s not what I’m talking about here. And more about what is difficult for us to accept in people, especially loved ones, and how important it can be. What is a weakness for one is an extremely important thing for another. The hardest thing to accept is what violates our boundaries, especially in the more-less category. Something is either too much or too little. Attention, compliments, respect and participation, trust and intimacy. It’s just that all people are really so different that you won’t meet two identical ones, even if it seems that people are very similar, each of them has something unique and inimitable. Don’t try to predict a person’s actions, lest you later be disappointed that he acted differently. After all, first of all, there is a person in front of you, even if you have known him all your life. Giving him the opportunity to be unpredictable sometimes will definitely give him more energy. Find a plus in this; you also approach this behavior in a new way. Don’t expect too much, this is also harmful, and if you want to get something, communicate it in a way that others can understand. Internal psychological processes in a person may be more intense and contradictory than you see them, do not draw conclusions, clarify. These contradictions can be so strong that there are no resources to pay attention to the other person. Tell me, is this a weakness, externally yes, but internally not always, the emotional background can be so high that other feelings are blocked. Then a person may really not notice something, not know, not understand, and not even assume! But you can sincerely and truly expect some action from him and still not get it. Give your loved one the right to weakness, to closeness, to unpredictability, and this will help you see in him a real person, but with your own internal troubles, which you definitely don’t need to understand, just allow him to be like that in your relationship. Allow this person to be in your relationship without masks and different games. It is not always possible, even if you have a truly close and trusting relationship with a person, to be as you are. Say whatever you think, do whatever you want, touch on any topic during conversations. There is both a restraining social factor and a personal one, because no one knows how a person might react to this. And the other one doesn’t know if he can cope with this reaction without getting hurt. The law of conservation of energy, and internal resources, of course. Therefore, allow yourself to be a little unpredictable, and support spontaneity and surprise in others, give freedom to what is hidden in the recesses of your soul! The article was published on http://gestalt-by.org/library/articles/kak-prinyat-slabost-i-nepredskazuemost-blizkogo-cheloveka/

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