It is impossible to deliberately awaken in a person responsibility for his life and the will to change. For one, difficulties finish off and sink to the bottom, while another is hardened and forced to break through and win. How to be second on the list? Don't know. Nobody knows. What is it about that person who again and again finds strength in himself? Maybe he was loved more? Or does his family have more money? Or is he prettier? Or is education better? Not a fact. One was born into a poor family and he does not want to continue living in poverty so much that he makes every effort to escape from poverty. And the other... whines about injustice and sees no way to change life. One grew up in a difficult/incomplete/complicated family and grew up adequate, while the other grew up bathed in love and care and grew up a moral monster. One was broken by bad living conditions, and the other was strengthened .Lack of will and responsibility for one's life is not an intellectual deficiency. You can try to explain, convey, tell, reach, help in a variety of ways. But something inside a person remains inaccessible to others - both for people and for events/conditions of life. This is some kind of force that is susceptible to external circumstances, it cannot be influenced by words and theories, it cannot be altered. Sometimes it seems to me that it is associated with fatigue from suffering. A person is so tired of being a victim of the situation that he can no longer continue. And he takes everything into his own hands, no matter how hard it is. And this peak level of fatigue is different for everyone. Tired of suffering, tired of being a victim - this is what makes a person make efforts again and again. “If I stop, it will be even worse, but I can’t do this anymore!” If you are “tired of suffering,” but you keep waiting for something to happen on its own or for someone to come and save you, then you are not tired yet. This means that there is some kind of secondary benefit in this suffering (you can feel sorry for yourself, you don’t have to strain yourself, you can find the culprits, etc.). Does this mean that you have to suffer a lot to get tired? No. Processes in the psyche are not a mathematical example. There, everything can change places in any way and give different results. I advise you to go into analysis, choose a psychoanalyst and begin long-term work. What is hidden behind your attachment to repeated suffering? What is holding you back where things have been so bad for a long time? Why don't you get tired of this? Unconscious. Here's where to look for answers.