“He put everything on me! All worries about the house, housework, all the problems of the children, everything is on me! I'm tired of doing everything alone! It's like I'm a single mother! It feels like I don’t have a husband, but another child.” At the consultation, a young woman, Tatyana. In a further conversation, it turns out that Tatyana’s husband works a lot and helps in some way, for example, buying groceries, taking out the trash, cleaning up after the pets. He doesn’t forget about words of love and gratitude. But... “He used to help me. And now... He gets up and doesn’t even make the bed! Not to mention, as before, picking up a vacuum cleaner, for example, or cleaning the shoes of everyone in the household... He just took it and did something where help was needed... I miss this so much now! I’m like a fish hitting ice, I’m struggling and struggling, and no one will come to the rescue...” You, apparently, have already noticed that the main words - claims are words about help. Yes, it is HELP that turns out to be the native language of love in this case. Tatyana’s mistake, as it turned out, was the manner in which she spoke to her husband. She did not ask for help, but either indicated: “The light bulb in the bathroom has burned out,” or demanded it, which, in fact, disrupted the previously harmonious relationship. It is important to remember that they do not require help. You can ask, but fulfilling the request or not is your partner’s choice. When you love, you care that the other person in the couple feels good. You take care of yourself, and don’t follow instructions! Love is feelings and relationships between equal people. This is not a parent-child or boss-subordinate relationship. Further work consisted of: - translating words-demands, words-claims to the level of requests for help; - remembering words of gratitude; - identifying the husband’s native love language; - and learning give love in this particular language. Share if HELP your native love language or the love language of your partner. Love languages ​​1, 2, 3 read in previous articles: https://www.b17.ru/article/310816/https:// www.b17.ru/article/313517/https://www.b17.ru/article/320113/There is one more love language left. About him in the next publication.