From the author: The article was published on 06/05/2012 on the website One of the ways of working in existential counseling is working with a book, or, in other words, bibliotherapy, literally “therapy with a book” ( biblio - from Greek biblion "book", therapy - from Greek therapéia - care, care, treatment). The creator of the “existential bibliotherapy” method is Alexander Efimovich Alekseychik. What does this mean? Of course, you shouldn’t take it literally - let’s say, if you have a headache, you need to put a book to your temple, and the pain will subside. Not at all. Although the direction of thought is correct - only we will talk about mental pain. Or not pain, but simply some obsessive thought, emotion, feeling, or a difficulty that has suddenly arisen in life that is difficult to cope with on your own. For example, a feeling of loneliness. Nowadays, it is quite common and even in some senses “fashionable” to hide comfortably behind the curtain of loneliness, being confident that no one understands me and they are all the same, and I am not like everyone else. It often happens that I am not alone at all that you just need to take one step forward, towards - and circumstances will change. But a person does not see the real state of affairs, because... is within the situation. As they say, “you can’t see faces face to face,” just as they recommend enjoying paintings from a distance. A person, being in a situation of loneliness, becomes more and more immersed in his inner world, closes himself and begins to limit interaction with people around him. And often people in a state of extreme loneliness turn to a psychologist or psychotherapist. The main statement is “nobody understands me, I’m not like everyone else, I’m not interested in all this.” And in addition, the client talks about the colorlessness and boredom of life, the lack of truly interesting and lively people in his life. After one or several meetings, having found out the essence of the client’s appeal, the psychotherapist feels and sees that the situation very much reminds him of one of the scenes in the novel by M.Yu. Lermontov “Hero of Our Time”. This is the meeting of Maxim Maksimovich with Pechorin after many years of separation: The horses were already pawned; From time to time the bell rang under the arc, and the footman had already approached Pechorin twice with a report that everything was ready, but Maxim Maksimych had not yet appeared. Fortunately, Pechorin was deep in thought, looking at the blue battlements of the Caucasus, and it seemed that he was in no hurry to get on the road. I approached him. “If you want to wait a little longer,” I said, “you will have the pleasure of seeing an old friend...” “Oh, right!” - he answered quickly, - they told me yesterday: but where is he? - I turned to the square and saw Maxim Maksimych, running as fast as he could... A few minutes later he was already near us; he could hardly breathe; sweat rolled from his face like hail; wet tufts of gray hair, escaping from under his cap, stuck to his forehead; his knees were trembling... he wanted to throw himself on Pechorin’s neck, but he rather coldly, although with a friendly smile, extended his hand to him. The staff captain was stunned for a minute, but then greedily grabbed his hand with both hands: he could not speak yet. - I’m so glad, dear Maxim Maksimych. Well, how are you doing? - said Pechorin. - And... you?.. and you? - the old man muttered with tears in his eyes... - how many years... how many days... but where is this?.. - I’m going to Persia - and further... - Really now?.. Just wait, dearest!.. Are we really going to part now?.. We haven’t seen each other for so long... “I have to go, Maxim Maksimych,” was the answer. - My God, my God! But where are you in such a hurry?.. I would like to tell you so much... ask so many questions... Well? retired?.. how?.. what were you doing?.. - I missed you! - Pechorin answered, smiling. - Do you remember our life in the fortress? A glorious country for hunting!.. After all, you were a passionate hunter to shoot... And Bela?.. Pechorin turned slightly pale and turned away... - Yes, I remember! - he said, almost immediately yawning forcefully... Maxim Maksimych began to beg him to stay with him for another two hours. “We’ll have a nice lunch,” he said,- I have two pheasants; and the Kakhetian wine here is excellent... of course, not the same as in Georgia, but of the best variety... We'll talk... you'll tell me about your life in St. Petersburg... Eh? “Really, I have nothing to tell, dear Maxim Maksimych... However, goodbye, I have to go... I’m in a hurry... Thank you for not forgetting...” he added, taking his hand. The old man frowned... he was sad and angry, although he tried to hide it. - Forget! - he grumbled, - I haven’t forgotten anything... Well, God bless you!.. This is not how I thought of meeting you... - Well, that’s enough, that’s enough! - said Pechorin. hugging him in a friendly manner, “am I really not the same?.. What should I do?.. to each his own way... Will we manage to meet again, God knows! rein. - Wait, wait! - Maxim Maksimych suddenly shouted, grabbing the doors of the stroller, “it was just there / I forgot my desk... I still have your papers, Grigory Alexandrovich... I carry them with me... I thought I’d find you in Georgia, but that’s where God gave meet... What should I do with them?.. - Whatever you want! - answered Pechorin. - Goodbye... - So you’re going to Persia?.. and when will you return?.. - Maxim Maksimych shouted after him... The carriage was already far away; but Pechorin made a hand sign that could be translated as follows: unlikely! and why?..M.Yu. Lermontov "Hero of Our Time" The client says that he felt hopeless melancholy while reading. During a conversation with a therapist, it turns out that melancholy is born from thoughts about the impossibility of contact with others. And this feeling, in turn, is generated by the fear of rejection, the fear that the other person will not accept him. This is where the client develops a “Pechorinsky” style of behavior. From the description of the meeting of the two heroes it is clear that on the part of Maxim Maksimovich there are no feelings or emotions similar to those that the client is afraid of. Those. Maxim Maksimovich not only does not reject Pechorin, but waits for him and is glad to meet him, as if Pechorin were his own son. The idea that our ideas and fears about other people can only be imaginary is voiced during a discussion of a passage of the work with a therapist. And the client begins to think that perhaps his own fears may be exaggerated - and this is already a step towards change. The principle of bibliotherapy is simple - everything that our attention clings to has some meaning for us, more or less. With the help of living other people's stories, we have a unique opportunity to realize what “hurts” us, what has been hidden for some time - this is the first thing. Secondly, it is very difficult for many people to change themselves. It’s much easier to see the speck in your neighbor’s eye than the log in your own, isn’t it? And here bibliotherapy can help. We see specks in the eyes of book heroes because we are outside the situation, outside, not absorbed by it, like the hero. Therefore, using the example of other people’s stories, it is several times easier to see how events will unfold further, what the hero would need to do to change the situation or avoid it, how it was possible to respond differently to an insult, for example, or when it was best to tell about your experiences to your loved one. Or, if you are a man, see - read - what a woman thinks and feels in situations of betrayal. And if you are a woman, then you can study the peculiarities of male psychology in a safe environment and learn some useful lessons in communicating with the opposite sex. What book are you reading now? Observe your reactions, at what moments do you want to cry or laugh, or do you feel indignation, indignation, fear, joy? Try not to limit yourself to this, but ask yourself the question: “Why does this passage hurt me so much? What are these emotions associated with?” I’m sure you’ll learn something new about yourself or even answer a question that’s been hanging around in your head for a long time. One point worth noting here is how does the therapist understand which book or passage is suitable for the client? As a rule, there are no specific rules here..