“The cat pouted, fluffed her tail and walked away,” this is from a fairy tale that I told today to an 8-year-old boy. This topic arose when he talked about a touchy friend who, at times, does not know why gets offended and silently stops playing, then he goes home. “What are you doing?” I asked. “I’m starting to apologize,” the boy replied. “Apologizing for what?” - I tried to understand. “I don’t know myself,” he said and sighed. Surely each of you has had similar situations. Perhaps you took the position of being offended or, on the contrary, guilty. Both positions are unpleasant. Although the offended person may initially triumph in his soul, forcing the other to apologize, and feel like a winner, that is, a winner. However, there are no winners in this game, as relationships are collapsing. Guilt is a very painful feeling. A normal, adequate person will not be able to tolerate him for long. Even his super-strong love for you will begin to cool down. Because in every person there is another love, this is self-love. Without guilt, the guilty person will once again begin to feel anger at the repeating situation, at the loved one who creates this situation, and will begin to look for ways to leave. Often this is a real withdrawal from the relationship. If these are strangers, then they separated and forgot. And if these are loved ones who cannot separate, then psychosomatics, addictions, affairs on the side, neuroses, and depression appear. Such behavior is more typical of women. This is how they try to influence their husbands, thinking that they are “educating” them. But, unfortunately or fortunately, we do not know how to read other people's thoughts. By acting in this way we increase misunderstanding. In response to demonstrative silence, the partner initially experiences a mixed feeling of confusion, guilt and reciprocal resentment. If this is repeated, then a cooling occurs in the relationship, which leads to divorce. Thoughts appear: “Why do I need a relationship that causes suffering?” This cold conflict freezes love rather than solving problems. It destroys the emotional balance of both spouses. Therefore, the game of silence, which quickly turns into a habit harmful to the relationship, is very dangerous! It should be gotten rid of as soon as possible, through awareness, through dialogue and through the desire to improve relationships. And if you can’t cope on your own, then come for a family or individual consultation with a psychotherapist.