The work of a psychologist: Interesting and Useful 866 Good afternoon, Dear Friends! And we continue to study the work of a psychologist and its various features, we continue to share our experience and knowledge accumulated during practice. I bring to your attention the eight hundred and sixty-sixth article in the series. The day before yesterday, my article “We don’t trust clients!”, which can be found at this address, said that the client told the psychologist at a meeting approximately the following: “I’ve spent a lot now, let’s take a break for a month . I don’t want to part with a person who supports and understands me!” I suggested that this is a disguised or unconscious message from the client to us that he wants to leave therapy completely. It is recommended not to take into account the “not” particle in the client’s words and see what happens (“I want to break up”), since our unconscious does not take into account the “not” particle in its work, the unconscious speaks in statements, the “not” particle is here as a disguise, maybe if you want..Yes, and in that article I suggested that together with the client we analyze this point, understand what reasons prompt him to leave. I always write about therapy. What is therapy? In therapy, we explore the client’s entire personality with the goal of harmonizing it. In therapy they do not deal with solving any particular problem, since this is no longer therapy, but something else (coaching, consulting. What exactly is this type of work called? Tell me, please!) Therefore, we do not tell ourselves here that the client has the right to leave, that we should, saving his money, not interfere with his departure, that perhaps he has already solved the problems and therefore wants to leave, and so on. This will not be useful to the client in any way, it will not clarify anything for him. We recognize the right to leave, but he will not know why he is leaving, why he cannot say directly about the reasons for leaving. And therapy is aimed at increasing awareness. Finding out things like this is just part of the job. Why is it not necessary to increase awareness at the moment when the client wants to leave for unknown reasons? Need to. It's just part of the therapy. The difficult part, but still the same part as all the other parts. About saving money. This is some kind of introject. Why does a psychologist care specifically about the client’s money? And not about making it more conscious, for example, or something else? Did the client raise the topic of what he needs to save? Again, even if this has been voiced, it is always important to ask, ask even to fantasize, what could be the reasons other than money and time (this is also often talked about as a reason). Money and time are just a standard, socially acceptable form of refusal. Behind all this there may be (but not always the case!) and more often there is something else. When there is a desire to continue working, continuation of therapy can be agreed upon. At least you can ask to meet once a month for free. You can offer the client this option and discounts if therapy is important to him. And if it’s not important, then it’s important to clarify why it’s not important. Yes, the client can solve all his problems as he sees it (again, it’s important to clarify what, how and why he sees it). But therapy is about increasing awareness! Why doesn't he say this directly? Why does he think he has decided everything? Why doesn’t he then thank the therapist for the good work he has done, and instead allegorically say that he wants to break up with the therapist? Most likely (but not necessarily always!) in this case something will be discovered that is not at all about a successful completion. This is a good reason to continue. How does this affect relationships with other people, which for some reason cannot even be said directly about success? What does this help? What's stopping you? Usually, when there is success, a person speaks directly about it, thanks him, it is not taboo, it is socially acceptable. And here, secretly, so to speak, he simply says goodbye. In general, there is more scope for research and work in therapy, since this is not at all like manifestations of a personality that is in harmony with itself and others. You also want something! :)