The New Year's marathon of setting goals for the next year begins. The context of the situation “100 wishes for the New Year” requires standing on tiptoes and reaching for the moon. We want to achieve success, to feel valued, to be accepted by the glamor photography community on the illicit web. We so want to set the bar for ourselves and be “above average.” We must be smart, and beautiful, and physically fit, and stylish, and interesting, and successful, and spiritual. Even now, in conditions of uncertainty, we try to rise above others: “I understand the situation more correctly than you,” “I worry and suffer more than you,” “I am more independent,” “I adapt to the situation better than others.” Our culture requires that we put goals for ourselves to feel like we are better than most. Research shows that 90% of car enthusiasts consider themselves more skilled than others. People tend to overestimate their abilities, and most believe that their ability to objectively evaluate themselves is above average. But if our self-perceptions were accurate, half of people would say they are above average, and the other half would say they are below average. But this almost never happens. The paradox of the situation is that we not only try to see ourselves in the coming year as a “better version”, we also consider others worse. We strive to see the mistakes of stars: ridiculous outfits, strange actions, falling out body parts, drunken brawls, extra pounds - occupy our attention and force us to scroll the news feed. Noticing other people's flaws is a common way to increase self-esteem. And, if positive self-esteem is extremely important to us, then the success of others becomes a threat to us. Such social comparison drives us into a prison of isolation and isolation. What happens when we fail to change reality and those around us seem to become more “patriotic”, “dexterous”, “successful”, and even “modest”: “Anatoly made money on crisis”, “Mashka and her husband went to Uzbekistan, and from there to Tai, that’s how it should be”, “Andrey is a hero, and you...”. We bring down a barrage of self-criticism on ourselves, cruelly and rudely devaluing ourselves. Imperfection is common to all people. What brings us together is not successes, but the awareness of the fact that we all, with all our positive and negative experiences, are sailing in the same boat in a sea of ​​uncertainty and fears. And sometimes the only thing we can do is simply hold the helm, without comparing or evaluating ourselves with others, sailing in the hope of seeing a lighthouse. The lighthouse we create by defining what is truly important and valuable to us. Instead of making 100 wish lists, just write down what is valuable and meaningful to you. Move your planning horizon further from one year to the next and try to understand what kind of life you want to live, what you want to rely on while going through all the difficulties, trials and hardships. And there may be only one value on this list, and not a hundred, but it will be the beacon that will allow you to swim out.