From the author: sexologist-psychotherapist, family psychologist. expert of television programs, member of the professional psychotherapeutic league, NLP master, best master, educational psychologist, specialist in the eastern version of neuroprogramming, specialist in personal well-being and family relationships, trainer, coach, esoteric psychotherapist. The author of more than 500 articles on a variety of problems, which you can see by looking at the *articles* section and, probably, this will already help solve your problem. The author of more than 100 training programs, which you can see by visiting my video channel on YouTube and typing “Afanasyeva Lilia.” Continuing to work with a client from Moscow who could not begin sexual activity with her boyfriend (although the couple had been in civil marriage) I, as a sexologist and family psychologist, came across various kinds of prohibitions and non-acceptance of sex. When psychotherapists, sexologists and family psychologists work with vaginismus, they know very well that at every psychotherapy appointment with the topic of vaginismus, some kind of set of situations. Usually, a certain time passes from appointment to appointment, and these stories begin to emerge from clients. In general, girls with vaginismus are more difficult to work with, for example, than clients with anorgasmia. The current client is quite an easy-going, positive and cheerful girl. Looking at her, you can’t say that she has some kind of sexual female problems on the topic of vaginismus or anorgasmia. And now, somehow, unexpectedly, the topic of female fears emerged, which allowed us to remove another piece of the difficulties caused by vaginismus, and move the client towards the beginning sexual activity with my sexual partner. So, the first memory was associated with my stepfather, who lived with them for a long time. He was not a bad man, but sometimes he jokingly tried to touch a teenage girl, or, for example, lick her ear. Moreover, he did this without any ulterior motive, always in the presence of his mother, making fun of his stepdaughter and her bad character (as he said), and if the mother was not around, then there were no such attacks on his part. We removed this slipperiness from the girl and an unpleasant feeling after being touched by my stepfather. And then a second childhood memory emerged. This is the next story, when a girl and her friend were walking around the village (on summer holidays, visiting her grandmother), there was a strange man there. He was probably in his early thirties. He rode them on a bicycle. Moreover, as the client said: “the man liked my girlfriend more.” Again, nothing was ever shown on his part. The man sometimes bought chocolates for the girls, and for some time such friendship continued until my client’s grandfather from Moscow paid attention to this. He categorically forbade his granddaughter to approach and communicate with this strange uncle, saying that there could not be nothing in common. This story resonated in her now, when 10 years later she again went to visit her grandmother and met there the same man who remembered her, greeted her, and looked at her with an indifferent gaze. And she saw him doing the same thing. A man takes 10-year-old girls for rides on a bicycle, buys them candy, without leading them to anything more. Now I, as a sexologist and family psychologist, helped remove this story from the client, and then I remembered numerous experiences - horror stories on the topic of rape and maniacs .The girl realized that she was not able to change anything in this world, which means there was no need to experience this inside herself, imagining victims, and bringing herself to fear and panic. The client’s condition leveled out, the dose of childhood fears had already decreased, and early experiences and the ambiguity of the situation let her go. But then we were faced with the “mother’s theme” and her fears, which she projected onto her daughter, thereby contributing to the formation of her female sexual problems of anorgasmia and vaginismus. But I'll tell you about this next time.