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Self-control is the ability to control oneself, one’s feelings and actions, and take responsibility for them. This is a very valuable personality trait, but it is not so easy to develop even for an adult. And if he is not taught to control himself from childhood, it will be much more difficult to do this in adulthood. Because only in childhood is the child’s psyche superflexible and receptive to any information, it quickly absorbs knowledge, develops skills and abilities and adapts to the external environment. The child receives his first knowledge about the world and about himself from his close circle - parents and relatives. They are constantly with the baby. By their example, they show how to behave. Adults' reactions to stimuli, behavior in conflicts, voice intonations, gestures, rate of speech, frequently repeated phrases - all this is deposited in the child's mind and used by him in life. He understands when they praise him, when they scold him, when they try to stop him, if there is danger ahead. He hears people's assessments of himself, and this is how his image is formed. All these are important stages of education. And it is through them that the foundations of personality are laid. You need to start raising a child from birth. Any person can be a teacher. If there are no parents, then one of the relatives does this. Being a teacher and educator is a very responsible role and a very difficult one. Since for a child the source of knowledge is a close adult, this source will pass on to him the same skills and character traits that he himself possesses. If an adult is an anxious, emotionally unstable person, then his condition can quickly affect the child. The fears of an adult will be transmitted to the baby. If, for example, a mother constantly raises her voice, swears, throws objects, and cries, then for the baby this will be a painful ordeal that will affect his development and remain unconscious for a long time. He may even fall ill and become moody or lethargic. He will look at the world and see suffering and aggression in it. In the future, observing the impulsiveness and lack of restraint of their parents, children will repeat their behavior. If the parents constantly frightened the child, then he may remain fearful for the rest of his life. If the parents are calm, understanding and loving people, then the child will accept these qualities from them and they will help him to be a successful and harmonious person. Therefore, raising a child’s self-control begins with the personality of adults people who are nearby, be it parents or people replacing them. That is, parents should themselves be role models for their child.1. Speak calmly, kindly, without reproaches, threats or accusations. Express your thoughts clearly and accessible. This is the only way a child can hear and understand an adult.2. Always keep promises, be responsible for words, actions and see things through to the end. So that the child learns responsibility, honesty and develops his will.3. Explain to him the reasons for the occurrence of certain situations, the reasons for punishment, the anger of parents and many other events. So that the child understands what exactly he did wrong.4. Maintain a unified education policy. That is, at least visible contradictions and conflicts should not arise between relatives in the family. If parents argue with each other about approaches to education, then it is better to do this without the child. Because if the mother scolds, and the father protects the child from the mother, then she will become an enemy, lose her authority and respect in the eyes of the child, and he will stop listening to her.5. Always give your child the right to choose. For example, say: “You can do your homework now, and then run outside to play and no longer think about homework. Or you can go now, but when you come home you will sit at homework until night, you will go to bed late, you will not get enough sleep and you will go to school tired ". Even if the child chooses the latter, it will really be difficult for him to get up tomorrow and he will nod off at school. He will understand that his parents were right. Next time he will listen to them more carefully andtrust them.6. Treat your child like an adult. Ask him for advice, seek help, involve him in joint activities, share secrets. Each child should have his own responsibilities: study at school, help his mother clean the house every Sunday, meet his grandmother at the bus stop, etc.7. A family should have its own rules and traditions, daily routine and discipline. So that the child knows how to obey certain rules and treats his home with care. For example, in the house it is not customary to raise your voice and use aggressive, offensive words. Or every Saturday all the relatives gather together at the table and the children should also be present, even if they don’t feel like it and are capricious. There is no need to rush in learning self-control and demanding instant results from the child. After all, he goes through his stages of development and in the first couples it may be physically difficult for him to cope with the demands of the environment. And of course, the child himself may worry about this and experience great stress. Therefore, the love and understanding of parents will help him overcome difficulties in managing himself and will make this process comfortable and effective. In the preschool period, it is difficult for a child to manage feelings and desires, because the cerebral hemispheres are still developing, and they have poor control over the subcortical zones that encourage the child to behave behave unrestrainedly, impulsively and allow him to react instantly to external stimuli without analyzing the situation. As he grows up, he will develop more and more awareness and understanding of what is happening. This means that the child will no longer simply react reflexively, for example, to some bright object, but will already understand what it is and why he needs it. In the preschool period, the child’s leading activity is playing at home, on the playground, in the nursery garden. It is she who actively develops the mind, feelings, and arbitrariness of actions. The more children are involved in the game, the more often he has to obey and adapt to the general game scenario. And the child no longer acts under the influence of fleeting desires, but is guided by the rules of the game. In addition to the game, the preschooler can perform simple tasks under the guidance of parents and educators. In this way, he will enrich his life experience, learn to act together, respecting the interests of the team, developing skills of determination, perseverance, mutual assistance, and patience. Attending kindergarten is an important moment in the development of the skill of self-control. There, too, there is a certain daily routine, rules of behavior. In addition, in this environment there are no relatives nearby, the child tries to solve conflicts and various problems himself with the help of his skills. This means that in this environment he can fully realize his potential and develop quickly. Because it is in critical conditions that a person’s strengths are mobilized and all his knowledge and skills are fully demonstrated. By the age of 7, the child enters the period of apprenticeship. Here, self-control develops through conscious, purposeful learning activities. And parents need to help the child adapt to school and let him understand that learning is now the most priority activity for him. A deep awareness of one’s feelings and actions occurs from the age of 14-15, when the intellect is fully formed. With him comes full awareness of his actions. But here the teenager faces other difficulties. The period of growing up is accompanied by hormonal imbalances and physiological changes in the body. Personality formation and entry into adulthood begins. This plunges a person into crisis and numerous stresses. The teenager becomes sensitive, irritable, rebels against the authority of his parents, winning his freedom and proving his maturity. Here, restraint and understanding of the parents plays an equally important role. During this period, the teenager really needs love and respect for his interests and needs. He needs the support of his family, even if he shows his coldness and indifference in response to care and attention. In this period.

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