From the author: You can polish your skills with the help of numerous exercises and practice, but how to make sure that every speech you give is lively and brings you pleasure? And most importantly, remember the text without memorizing and reduce anxiety. This is how I see the meaning of teaching public speaking! And this is what my article is about. Every person who is in any way connected with public speaking, be it giving a report at a meeting, making a toast at a holiday, or giving a lecture, one way or another is faced with the fact that they need to memorize the text, or take notes with them, so as not to lose the topic of conversation and not go into the verbal “wilds”. A very good way to get rid of a piece of paper is to paraphrase. I wrote a short essay about him earlier. But this is a rather mechanical method. In this article, I would like to delve deeper into this topic and consider another important aspect. In order for the speech to be coherent, cheat sheets are not useful, it is important to be aware of what you are talking about. Not just remember by heart what is what, but understand what you say, how you do it, what happens to you, how the audience reacts to your words, what should be said next, etc. Of course, you may be aware of some of this, but the trouble is when you realize, for example, this: “God, what am I grinding” or “Well, they have faces!” In connection with these thoughts, strong feelings of shame, irritation, and fear may arise. And when we are emotionally involved in the process, it is difficult for us to be aware of ourselves and our behavior. And then when asked: “What happened to you?” Phrases like: “Everything was mixed up in my head,” “I didn’t even understand what I was saying, etc.” This may indicate that you are not listening to your inner observer at all. But if you become more attentive to yourself, you can notice it. I really liked how a certain Natashapo writes in her article “Awakening”: “even in the midst of very strong emotions and mental experiences, at the moment of active engagement in any activity, at the moment of reflection or pleasure, there is always something in the mind, as if detached from this internal and external activity. Silently observes, without judging, without expressing emotions, simply contemplating everything that you do."Who is this observer? Each of us has an "inner observer." This is the part of consciousness that is always observing what is happening, present and witnessing everything that happens to you. She does not interfere in anything, does not react in any way, does not evaluate in any way, she simply observes dispassionately. The question is that not everyone listens to their observer, trying to either talk so quickly and a lot to drown out this voice, or suppresses and displaces it from their consciousness. Or chooses other methods of resistance. And then it becomes more difficult or even impossible to realize oneself in the here and now. Why does this happen? Often in the process of our development, we are faced with difficult life situations and, as a rule, it is not possible to complete these situations. And as luck would have it, there is no outside support at this moment. Pain in the form of a tail lasts throughout your life and aches like a purulent pimple and is in the present, experiencing such a state is too painful and unbearable. For example, the teacher shamed you in front of the whole class, and you, due to your age, could not defend yourself. If this happened, then we try to get out of the state here and now, to do anything just not to feel and not be aware of ourselves. And the natural function of the body is activated - repression, alienation of that part that threatens the functioning of the entire organism. A person can repress a traumatic situation so much that he does not even remember that it happened. Afterwards the body adapts to living like this. It’s as if he’s here, but it’s as if he’s not. Probably everyone has met in their life a person who speaks in smart, maybe even beautiful words, but in such a boring way that it’s completely unclear what the person is trying to tell you. It seems that the speaker is cold as metal ora stone, gray, nondescript, the feeling is that it is frozen and is trying to freeze you. Perhaps public speaking is somewhat reminiscent of a traumatic situation and the person acts according to the usual pattern - represses all feelings. To break this vicious circle, you need to find the “inner observer” within yourself and be brave enough to admit the existence of your trauma, experience the pain and let it go. And then you can begin to study your reactions and manifestations in the present. Perhaps now that you are an adult, you will react to words similar to those that the teacher told you completely differently. Is it normal to hear voices in your head? If you start listening to your inner voice, this does not mean at all that Aunt Schizophrenia has visited you. There is an interesting metaphor in Eastern philosophy. A person is often compared to a cart drawn by horses. The owner is the Inner Observer, consciousness; driver - Mind; horses - Emotions; cart - Body. Ideally, the cart functions like this: The owner (Observer) sets a goal (tells the driver where to go) and watches the process; the driver (Mind) analyzes the situation and creates a plan (chooses the optimal route) and controls the horses (Emotions); horses are a driving force capable of achieving a goal; the carriage (Body) must be in good condition so as not to fall apart along the way. Imagine what will happen if the driver does not listen to the owner? He will ride back and forth until he gets tired and then stop completely. And gradually the whole cart with horses will stagnate and become unusable. The same thing happens with the psyche, when we are poorly aware of ourselves, we perform some actions that do not bring results and satisfaction and then there is a feeling of meaninglessness, stopping, anxiety. That is, if we learn to hear the observer during a speech, we can monitor ourselves: “Why am I so nervous? Oh, because they mixed up my slides!” And now you have an understanding of what is happening to you, and you can draw up a plan for further action and a vision will emerge on how to implement it. For example, you can openly express your frustration with the confusion with the slides and offer to write the necessary material on the board, and send the missing information by e-mail to everyone. Not only did you openly show feelings, you also offered the audience an additional bonus! How to find this “observer?”1. Know that it exists. When you know about its existence, it will be easier for you to hear it. At first you may not hear it very clearly. It can manifest itself as internal surprise: “It’s strange, why did I say that? I didn’t mean to?!”2. Trust him. The Observer is not a separate part of you - it is you. And if the mind, following the lead of the majority or authority, is able to convince you that everyone does this, and why am I worse?! Then an impartial observer will help you look at the situation objectively, and you can already decide whether something is going wrong or, on the contrary, you are on the right track. Your observer has all the answers, you just need to learn to hear them and trust them.3. Include your observer. Whenever you remember, try to consciously observe yourself. When you wash your hands, pay attention to how you do it: how you take the soap, when you turn on the water, how you wash your hands, how long it takes you. It's better to start with simple steps. And when you notice the observer, remember this feeling and use it in emotional situations where you may act impulsively. For example, during a public speaking. Bottom line: Public speaking is usually associated with strong emotions, which often do not allow us to express ourselves fully and prevent us from speaking freely without using cheat sheets. We try to drown out or suppress these emotions, which takes us away from the state of here and now in fantasies of past traumas or in imagining future humiliations or disappointments. Realizing your motives and not always only positive feelings can be very difficult. And the main thing is to recognize them and accept yourself as such!