Clinical psychologist Ekaterina Vladimirovna Shevyakova answered questions from Allergotop readers via Facebook and Vkontakte. We publish the answers. Question: During the period of exacerbation of hay fever, many experience increased irritability and fatigue. This is especially true for teenagers who are taking exams (OGE and Unified State Exam): their nervous system is constantly under additional stress. How can we stimulate the brain and reduce anxiety without inhibiting the functioning of the central nervous system? Answer: Hay fever is indeed accompanied by increased irritability and emotional lability, and exams only intensify this condition. Regarding medication support, you should consult an allergist. But parents can also help their child. It is still difficult for him to cope with his emotions and overload. Even if he pretends that he doesn't care, inside he is tense and often worries more than he shows. Create a calm, trusting environment in the family, especially during the testing period. Tell a funny story about your exams and provide him with a bottle of water and a plate of fruit while studying for tests. Try to be his support, convey your calmness and inspire confidence that everything will work out for him. Question: In the spring, the stressful background at school (tests, tests, etc.) intensifies the allergic reaction. What measures can be taken here? Answer: The task of parents is to stabilize the teenager’s condition through their own calmness and emotional stability. There is no need to aggravate the panic. There will always be stressful situations, it is important to teach the child to withstand this stress, that is, to correctly distribute forces, ask for support and receive it, and be able to restore their resources. To begin with, you can make a preparation plan and follow it. Question: Is it possible to reduce an allergic reaction in a child by adjusting the psycho-emotional environment in the family? Answer: Yes, it is possible, although this is a gradual, slow process. A child more often than adults somatizes, that is, he endures psychological stress as a physical ailment, since alternative methods of psychological protection and compensation are not yet fully formed. Question: My 7-year-old daughter has atopic dermatitis and a severe allergic reaction to egg, birch, alder, and peanuts. She does not drink milk and consumes fermented milk products very limited. Sometimes cherries, peach, nectarine, apples give a reaction: it turns red around the mouth, but goes away quickly. My daughter constantly asks for sweets, chocolates and candies. At school, he immediately eats everything he can get his hands on, collects small change and buys candy. I always tell her that anything is possible, but just a little, but she demands a lot and throws hysterics. Tell me, won’t restrictions on sweets lead to psychological eating disorders? What is the right thing to do in this situation? Answer: It seems that you yourself are not entirely sure of the need for restrictions and prohibitions, and your daughter senses this. From the description, it looks less like a love for sweets and more like a confrontation with you. Try to talk to her about the consequences, about the discomfort that arises from redness, about the aesthetic side of the issue, look for something important for her, for which she can control herself. She is already a schoolgirl, it is important to slowly instill in her responsibility for herself. Question: Are there any clever ways to get the reasons for your anxiety out of your teenage child? Children are so secretive at this age! Maybe play some game that will make him spill the beans? Answer: In your question, the wording “cunning ways” worries me. A teenager is very sensitive to falsehood. This forces him to “curl up”, close down, and answer formally. You just need to communicate more, chat with him about everything, discuss current issues, ask his opinion, talk about yourself, share your impressions. It’s good if contact was established between you already in childhood, there is a credit of trust. Just with age you needreconsider the forms of this communication. But there is another side to your question. Should you know what's bothering him? He grows and has the right to his inner secret if it does not threaten his safety and health. He is already able to cope with some problems on his own, and it is important to give him this opportunity. And you should learn to cope with your anxiety for him, trust and let go. Question: How can I at least slightly reduce my anxiety about my child? He is generally healthy, but has a pollen allergy. I just went crazy over this. I'm afraid something will happen to him. These fears cause scandals in the family. Answer: If your anxiety is so strong, it is better for you to seek in-person psychological consultation. The mother always has fear for the life of the child, but usually this is a background feeling, like a sense of self-preservation, which extends to the child. For you, it has come to the fore and is complicating family relationships. Perhaps the culprit is your personal fear, some experience that overwhelms you and obscures reality. It happens that the childhood traumas of parents become actualized as the children grow up, and then they experience what happens to the children as something catastrophic. Question: I contacted the Moscow Psychological Assistance Service. There, the psychologist listened to me and sent me to a psychiatrist for pills. Answer: Finding a specialist who is right for you is really not easy. But probably. With each subsequent doctor, you will understand better and better who you want to see in front of you and what you need from him. And at some point you will definitely find your specialist! The psychiatrist is also not as scary as they say, but it is important that he treats the patient informally and is attentive in the choice of drugs and dosage. This is a delicate process in which mutual trust is important. Well, if we talk about the consequences of emotional trauma, even if medications help reduce the emotional background, they will not be able to remove the origins of the problem. Here we need psychotherapy in its psychological understanding, with the elaboration of relationships, meanings and values, in order to ultimately assemble a set that is right for you, in which you will live comfortably and freely. Question: My son is 3.5 years old, he is very active and emotional. More than a year ago, hysteria began to appear, and now his behavior has become completely unbearable: he either whines or screams, it is very difficult to switch, and he gets stuck in one emotion for a long time. What do you recommend? Answer: I advise you to contact a neurologist and psychologist to look at the situation from all sides. On the one hand, to exclude organic problems in the functioning of the nervous system and, if necessary, prescribe treatment; on the other hand, to identify the characteristics of family upbringing and the behavior of family members that contribute to such behavior of the child. The psychological state of a three and a half year old child greatly depends on the family system as a whole. Added to this is the factor of the “three-year crisis,” which is associated with the child’s need to gain more autonomy. Question: Since May 1st I have been sitting at home almost forever (hay fever on birch). Recently I began to notice that my palm swells a little when I wash my eggs. After that I stopped eating them, but I give them to my child. And today, while breaking eggs, I saw a red rash on my arm up to the elbow. The sensation was like nettles. Meanwhile, the other day I took an egg white test - the result was negative. What could it be: psychosomatics or allergies? Such reactions to food have never happened before. Answer: The rash is not very visible, but one can assume a pure autonomic vascular reaction or the result of contact with a detergent. Such states often occur in very emotional people. Nevertheless, you need to sort it out with a doctor and only then contact a psychotherapist. Question: Many fears, insecurities, and complexes come from childhood and really interfere with life. Is it possible to get rid of them and how to get to the bottom of the reasons for their occurrence? Answer: You can get rid of them, although it is not an easy path. It’s not even the reasons themselves that are important: what happened cannot be changed. Rather, you need to live those