From the author: Although I don’t really like criticism, there is a lot of value in it. For example, the opportunity to chat with you in this article. Enjoy reading! About self-love in different ways, everything seems clear. You need to learn to live with failures and non-resource states, and not be angry with yourself if you were not up to par. Live all this directly and in the very moment - support, understand that you do not always have to behave like a superhero. (See the previous article “What is your opinion of yourself?” Next question: What to do with criticism addressed to you? Criticism in my life is a real scourge. It’s a pity that they don’t give rewards for experiencing events when your ideas, actions or you yourself are criticized at almost every step you take. Faced with the problem of critical and even scathing reviews, I myself understood that I was no less a critic of myself and was ready to take Shishka’s word for everything. , kicks, injections, disparaging opinions of “experts”, etc. There is so much to be found in this cute and cozy-looking Pandora’s chest... It’s for the best. I know how to deal with these subtleties. And I will gladly share this knowledge. with you. Step 1. Assessing yourself “I’m fine” One day I noticed that I began not only to evaluate myself differently, but also to react to others differently - somehow easier, calmer, better. What became different? – firstly, I realized that I was no worse than others. This feeling is very close to the concept of “became more confident in myself,” but there are other important ideas at its core (more on that below). Secondly, I noticed that the situation was alien. Negative evaluations still upset me, but not as much and not for as long as they did just a couple of years ago. They don’t become a universal catastrophe or an all-consuming evil. I only had to find or remember a couple of supporting ideas. Understand that when people criticize, in many ways they are not talking about me, but about themselves and about their fears... (they are afraid for something for themselves). And I, from the category of “oppressed, undeservedly offended and wounded,” returned to “I’m fine,” “I’m ok!”, “I’m great!” and “I will succeed!” I began to think about this difference. Why did simple ideas take so long to reach me? Why did what used to be a whole storm destroying a tsunami now become a gentle breeze? The reason for this was quite understandable. I began to accept myself more - the real one, living with my strengths and weaknesses. I began to make peace with myself where before I was irreconcilable and adamant. For example, I stopped telling myself that only losers can do something for a long time and make mistakes. That only poorly educated people can afford harshness and raised tones in conversation. That being angry at your loved ones means that you don’t love them. And in general, being angry means that you yourself are bad... That being out of resources, tired, irritated, vulnerable... this, fi, you’re somehow wrong. In general, many people have such wonderful things in relation to themselves (and often unrealistic to fulfill in life ), my head was full. But this is a fact - I stopped being too strict with myself and noticed that I stopped being adamant and strict with others. And the world did not collapse. Step 2. Supporting ideas I realized that I use a lot of supporting ideas for myself personally. I was deeply imbued with these ideas when I led creative marathons and marathons of searching for what I love. What are the features and algorithms for moving along your path? It doesn’t matter what profession, they are approximately the same for everyone. Criticism is natural on this path. It is the same as the unity of opposites “good and evil”, “light and shadow”, “man and woman” - there is always something on the second side of the scale with the opposite sign. Your own path and criticism - one cannot exist without the other. Especially criticism of the new and incomprehensible - until it becomes familiar and understandable, they will criticize it. For many, the ideas of self-development are new ideas. What is the conclusion from this? You will also be criticized for something that has long been known, but is new for this particular person.(Remember I wrote that the critic is afraid for himself - it’s understandable why - after all, there is a risk that his system of established beliefs and values ​​will collapse...). And while you are incomprehensible to others, they are not used to you being new - you will be criticized. And that’s normal. Step 3. Pay attention to WHO is criticizing you. At a minimum, whether a specialist in this field is a critic or not. In any case, as long as you are doing something, criticism will always await you along the way. Take, for example, the very fact that self-realization is a competitive environment. In it people criticize each other. This cannot be undone. And all this will affect self-confidence and self-esteem. These pike perch starting with the letter “M” are always nearby, breathing down your back or running far ahead... And here’s the catch – those who are in front – they have no time for you at all. They go forward and don't look back. And moreover, if you ask them, they will even help you, because they know the way (and also, perhaps, because they are not zanders at all:) But those who pay attention to you - they are either next to you or behind. Therefore, you are disturbing them. You loom in front of their noses - here and there, distracting them. They don’t want to get ahead, and simply grow further. But you interfere with their position as “super owner of the copper mountain”, because you show by your example that they are either not super, or they are not the only ones, in general, not the first. You need to come to terms with this. Just don’t ever resign yourself to stopping along the way. Whenever possible, it is important to keep moving forward. Don't stop, don't get stuck, keep growing. This is the only way you won’t be afraid of the attacks of others. But it’s hard to deal with criticism - this is also a fact. Step 4. Continue your work And for now, along the way you need to find your own ways to “heal critical wounds.” Believe me, everyone has them (these wounds). The best way to cure them is to continue your work, to return to fruitful work. By continuing your work, creativity, path, you will heal faster and better the wounds inflicted by criticism. “The business has no competitors.” No suffering, no unrequited love, or even the deepest sadness can compete with business. The matter in itself heals and cures. Therefore, do not make a mistake - do not give up what you started, what you love, what is valuable to you because of criticism... Even if it’s out of spite. This is also a reason! Because business is your only and true medicine. But not all. It is still important to learn not to worry about other people's opinions, and there is a solution for this. Step 5. The decision to be confident in yourself The decision to be confident in order to create the life you want. It's like a magic formula. You decide for yourself whether you can or not. It has nothing to do with anyone. And no one can give you a truthful assessment of yourself until you agree with it yourself. And in each individual case you will be right. This is the real decision, the choice - to be confident. First we decide, choose, and then stick to this choice in life. After all, it is he who you will focus on when you decide: to listen to someone or not, to realize yourself or not, to think with your own head or not... To make it easier, first decide to be confident in some areas, and then gradually move on to others . Confidence is not a total thing. And with desire and practice, it can be extended to all significant areas in your life. And you can simply sneeze at the rest (the rest is what is not significant in your life). What good does it do you if you felt insecure at a meeting of “bows and strings” lovers? You got there by mistake and God willing, you won’t get there again. So, let’s sum it up: Criticism is normal. This is an indicator that you are doing something and growing. Criticism is hard to deal with. You can nominate those whose opinions you listen to/don't listen to. And follow your commandments. Believe me, no one will judge you for this, and most likely they will even respect you more. If you receive criticism, continue on your way. This is the surest way to heal wounds rather than stop to worry. People who criticize are either pike perch with the letter “m”, or ignorant people, or people who are afraid for themselves. (Provided that you:)