Illusion of helping a child (Bullying; Bullying) In continuation of the previous article, I would like to draw attention to the older age when parents “do good” for the child. For clarity of understanding, I will give an example situations that I was lucky enough to observe. A playground, children playing, parents looking after them, but at some point an argument arises between the children, then the argument develops into a quarrel, sometimes with a fight. The subject of the dispute can be different, everything is the same as in adult life. What I observe is how parents get involved in the settlement process. From my observations, events develop according to four scenarios: In the “left corner of the ring” some parents in the “right corner of the ring” others) ))Scenario No. 1: As events develop, parents separate the kids and go to their own corners. Their conversations, as a rule, remain behind the scenes and little is known about what they are talking about. Probably according to one of the above scenarios, I really believe not. Scenario No. 2: Parents observe the process of a quarrel and publicly comment on the actions of their baby: “Let's get out of here, it’s a bad boy (bad girl) or bad company.” They solemnly save the baby from bad company. They go to another site. Scenario No. 3: “Give it up, give in, you’re good, you’re kind, you’re smarter, you’re older, you’re stronger, you’re a boy, etc. Scenario No. 4: Parents become accomplices in a quarrel and actively regulate the conflict in the interests of their child, until other parents arrive. In my opinion, the third scenario is the most fatal for the unborn child. Now let’s look at the scenarios I have proposed and the behavior of the parents. Scenario No. 1: of all three scenarios, in my opinion , 1st is the most optimal, Firstly, you take the child away and communicate with him alone without witnesses, which will have a positive impact on the child’s future. I rejoice with you if you gave your child the opportunity to figure out the situation on his own, without your participation. Because it is precisely from childhood that the skill and ability to defend one’s own and show oneself as one is laid down. And the main thing is to take and bear responsibility for your actions. Scenario No. 2: In a situation where you publicly comment on the actions of a child, you take the side of the other child. In any case, a person looks at any situation with his own eyes, and not through the eyes, in this case, of a child. You decide the situation for him and don't ask his opinion because you think you know better. Often behind this lies the emotions of the parents themselves, which he is guided by. Scenario #3: In the previous scenario, I described how public comments put parents on the opposite side of your child. In addition to this, if you force or coax a child to give in, you make the child good, comfortable and compliant. Learn to act in the interests of others, and not in your own, in order to look good in the eyes of others. What is more important to you is what they will think and say about you and your child. Children quickly get used to this line of behavior, because it allows them to quickly resolve conflicts, but think about the price your child has paid and will continue to pay in adulthood. At such moments, you can experience inner feelings about how you and your child look in the eyes of others and, accordingly, act in your own interests, and not the child. Scenario No. 4: The most fatal scenario for the unborn child. This scenario occurs to me most often, I really hope that this is a coincidence. But judging by how many children began to be bullied at school (bullying), this is probably not an accident. What I am getting at is that in any scenarios in which parents solve all the problems for the child, starting with how they carefully provide him with support so that he can climb onto the sofa; continuing with the choice of food, clothing, hobbies, clubs and sections; by choosing a school or profession, parents deprive the child of their life experience. And this experience must be gained as early as possible. All these actions lead to the child getting used to the fact that everything will be decided and decided for him and when on the way.