Suffering is an integral part of our lives, and fear of suffering and reluctance to face it, oddly enough, gives rise to even greater suffering. How to heal from suffering? As a rule, the most severe suffering is associated with close people, with relationships. People who avoid relationships are very afraid of suffering. Why can’t we stand long-term and deep relationships? Because any relationship renews our internal conflicts and painful feelings. You unconsciously offer to your partner the role of one of the parents whose love you sought as a child. All your fears, horrors of punishment and prohibitions come to life, irritation awakens, and if the relationship develops further and moments of dissatisfaction of desires or needs arise (frustration), then hatred also awakens. And all these feelings are associated with the husband or wife. We all know that rarely has any parent been able to fully satisfy the child’s needs for love. An unsatisfied need greatly hurts not only the feeling of love itself, but also affects self-respect and self-esteem, so almost everyone is familiar with the feeling possessiveness in love, jealousy, not only towards the opposite sex, but also towards work and interests. This is why betrayal hits feelings and pride so hard. It is like salt that falls on slightly healed wounds. In relationships with spouses, the painful scenario of our childhood is played out. In childhood, when faced with strong experiences and feelings, we learned to repress them. Every parent, as a rule, gets very scared when he observes a bright and strong manifestation aggression of their own child. In order to somehow stop negative children's feelings, parents resort to either punishment or cause the child to feel shame or guilt. These methods impose a ban on the expression and experience of feelings and the child is deprived of the valuable experience of living through his pain and anger. The best reaction in such cases - calm, cool patience. There is no need to either encourage or prohibit. Calmly withstanding a child’s anger is the most correct behavior. In society and families, the manifestation of love and good feelings is encouraged, their opposites are prohibited. Feeling hatred for the person you love is unacceptable. As a result, negative feelings are so quickly repressed and forgotten that later in adult relationships, when faced with them, a person is frightened by their strength and takes all possible measures to suppress them again in himself. The internal struggle of two contradictory tendencies - the desire to break through negative feelings and the arguments of the mind about their unacceptability, very exhaust a person and almost all his energy is spent only to suppress the feelings that are inside. What should you do if you experience suffering, pain, aggression in a relationship? How to heal from suffering? If you want to once and for all get rid of what has been stored inside you for years and takes all your energy, then these feelings need to be allowed to come out. There is no need to suppress them, no need to fight them. They need to be given a way out. Many people ask me if I start throwing out all my feelings on my partner, he will leave me. I agree, strong feelings can scare anyone, an unprepared person is unlikely to be able to withstand your inner barrage, that’s why there are psychologists who need to address, and in our country, as a rule, a person tries to solve his problems alone, sometimes acting in a completely opposite way, driving even deeper into what is rushing out. Controlling feelings is the dream of many of us, but in reality there are not many people who are able to control your feelings for real, especially when the feelings are hooked. The difficulty in establishing control, first of all, is that the feelings are alive and constantly strive outward. Real control, which does not require titanic efforts, comes when the heart and soul reservoir of feelings is cleansed, through liberation and a way out. The absence of long-term and deep relationships with men is a guaranteed protection