It is generally accepted that if one is jealous, “it means he is not confident in himself”, “he feels inferior”, “he has low self-esteem”...Has any of the readers thought about the origins of these states? It is curious that a man can become a man only in a relationship with a woman. And a woman can only exist as a woman in a relationship with a man. But the initiation itself occurs long before marriage, even in childhood. In a girl child, the birth and development of femininity comes from a relationship with the first significant man in her life - her dad. In a child-boy, the birth and development of masculinity comes from relationships with the first significant woman in his life - her mother. Only in an atmosphere of acceptance and with the presence of parents can femininity and masculinity be fully formed in children I will especially note the very first year of the child’s life. During this period, the foundation of his self-esteem is laid. The attitude of the parents towards the child forms his “I-attitude” (self-esteem), a sense of the fullness of the personality. It is not difficult to imagine how the child’s self-esteem will develop if for some reason there is no mother next to the boy, and there is no father next to the girl. Or what’s even worse for the child’s psyche is when both parents are not around. Or the parents are there, but with their entire lifestyle they make it clear to the child that he is superfluous and there are more important things to do. The child is like a burden for such parents. In these cases, the child finds an explanation for himself - “My parents are not around, which means they don’t need me, they don’t love me, which means I’m somehow different, I’m not full-fledged”... So the child evaluates himself (self-esteem). Against the background of reduced self-esteem, separation from parents turns into a state of painful loneliness. Having matured, he may not remember these experiences. Painful experiences suffered in childhood, especially those associated with parents, are repressed from memory. Let’s assume that, having grown up, this child has a soul mate - a spouse - a significant person. And in the relationship, jealousy towards the partner came from somewhere .How does this manifest itself? When a wife looks at another man with interest or pays attention to him, uncontrollable anger flares up in her husband. It is associated with internal pain and resentment towards a spouse (significant other). The same unexpressed feelings of a little boy towards his mother were activated, who then, in childhood, chose to direct her attention not to her son, but to something else or someone else . And in the very man to whom the wife pays attention, her husband sees this “other” to whom the mother once gave her attention, and as a result the child was left alone. Such a layering of states occurs, often occurring instantly and uncontrollably. Against this background, the husband flares up in anger both towards his wife and towards the man she is looking at. Such rage may be associated with an unconscious feeling of danger from the possible loss of a loved one - his wife. That is, those strong repressed experiences from childhood that are associated with the loss of attention from parents break into consciousness and layer on the real situation already in adulthood with predictable consequences. And the trigger for this is the wife’s attention to another man. The same applies to female jealousy. If you have a jealous partner, do not blame them for inferiority, but simply study in more detail the history of their relationship with their parents and you will understand where the origins of your quarrels come from and who your partner’s aggression is actually directed at .It is generally accepted that if he is jealous, it means “he is not confident in himself”, “he feels inferior”, “he has low self-esteem”... And maybe this is so. But there is something else curious. If he is jealous, it means he is afraid to again experience that tearing pain from within associated with the feeling of uselessness and loss of a loved one. A jealous person is the same little child abandoned by his parents. Parents! Raise your children intelligently, considering the consequences of your actions. Yours