It’s unlikely to meet a person who doesn’t know what fear is. Each of us has experienced this emotion and is very familiar with what it is like to be afraid... And, of course, the first time fear appeared in us was in childhood. Children tend to be afraid, since there is a huge unknown and very interesting world around the baby that they really want to get to know. But sometimes an acquaintance may not be very successful and then fear appears. Anything can scare a child. What seems simple and unnoticeable to adults can have a very strong impact on the baby and cause a very strong emotional reaction. Therefore, parents should be attentive to the reactions of their children in order to help the child cope with emotions in time and not register a state of fear. Fear appears with experience, as a result of interaction with the outside world and parents. And, of course, the behavior and words of the parents themselves are very important for the mental health of the child. I would really like to start with how parents tell others or a psychologist that their child is afraid of something. If you pay attention to specific words in a phrase, you can discover a lot of interesting things... I’ll give an example from my experience working with families: “Nightmare, my daughter is afraid of the dark...”, “God, I’m afraid that he will never stop being afraid of heights... “,” “This is some kind of horror, he is not left alone at all...”, etc. All these phrases contain fear, but not of the children, but of the parents themselves, which is passed on to the children, one way or another. A child, like a sponge, absorbs everything that happens around him, intuitively feels the emotional state of his parents, and it would be strange if an anxious and restless mother had a child who is not afraid of anything and is absolutely calm about the world around him. A mother with a worried expression on her face, frightened eyes, “oohs” and “ahs” will definitely cause anxiety in the baby. With our words and actions, we parents, without knowing it, make our children afraid. And even if the child was frightened by someone else or some incident, event, person, then it is very important to pay attention to what we say to our child after the fright, what words we use and how often we talk about this incident. Each of our references to a frightening situation and the words “horror”, “nightmare”, “are you afraid”, etc. This incident and the state of fear are increasingly recorded in the child’s memory. Restrictions and prohibitions from parents can also lead to the consolidation of fears: “Don’t go there - you’ll fall”, “don’t come close - you’ll bite”, “don’t touch - you’ll get burned”, “don’t dive - you’ll drown”, etc. Unfortunately, children learn only the second half of the prohibitions, and, accordingly, they begin to be afraid of drowning, getting burned, hitting themselves, being bitten, etc. Also, as assistants in education, parents use fairy-tale characters or real people, which also does not lead to anything good: “Don’t go there (in the dark room), there is Babayka (or Baba Yaga, or Kashchei the immortal, or the gray wolf and etc.)". Or there was another case when a mother told her son: “If you don’t obey, the traffic police will come and take you away.” And now the baby has a fear of people in uniform, a fear of being alone and of the dark. Of course, the extent to which this will be ingrained in the child’s memory and affect adult life depends on the child’s receptivity, emotionality, self-doubt, dependence on others, and all these traits are formed in the family. In addition, conflicts between parents can have a strong impact on the baby. The child may consider himself guilty of a quarrel between his parents and will begin to be afraid of being the cause of new conflicts, which, of course, will affect the child’s mental health. There are age-related fears that pass with age and are unlikely to remain in the child’s memory and will have an impact on his adult life. Babies under one year old are afraid of sharp and unexpected sounds, and if parents do not fix the child on fear, then with age and experience the child ceases to be afraid. Older children begin to be afraid of punishment and pain (vaccination at the doctor, fell unsuccessfully), since, while exploring the world, they oftenThey hear some instructions or demands from adults (you need to obey, you can hit yourself, get burned, etc.). Fear of the dark is also normal for children 2-3 years old. Later, the child’s independence increases and fantasies appear. The kid comes up with a monster himself and is afraid of it for a long time. When I was little, I thought there was a huge spider living in my room. There was a chlorophytum flower on the window and when the lights were turned off, a “spider” appeared against the background of the window. When my mother once saw me looking at the window and trembling, she simply took the flower out of the room and over time I forgot about this incident. Children aged 6-7 years may develop a fear of death, their own or their loved ones. The child already knows that a person can die, so many ordinary everyday or natural situations (thunder, thunderstorm, etc.) can cause fear and panic. In addition, very often parents do not monitor what their children watch; disasters, accidents, floods, various programs about fires and deaths of children are shown on TV, which can greatly affect the child. Anxiety, aggression, problems communicating with peers, complexes and other serious problems can be the consequences of childhood fears. Therefore, it is especially important to help the child overcome his fears in time. If parents see that the child is afraid of something, but the fear does not cause the child much concern, you can try to cope with the fear on your own. How to help cope with fear: Sit your child on your lap and talk to the child about what he is afraid of, ask everything down to the smallest detail, even if it seems to you that it is “nonsense.” Listen and praise your child for choosing to share with you, and support him when he talks. And then try to draw fear (here it doesn’t matter how correct the drawing is, it can be anything: spots, circles, blots, stains, etc.), after which you can tear the drawing or burn it. This will help the child get rid of fear. Tell your child a story from your childhood, share your experience of how you overcame your fears. If they were not there, imagine that you were afraid of something. This will help the child feel that he is not alone and will instill confidence in him. Come up with magic words that will help protect you from fears. For example: tell your child that when he gets scared, he can put on magic armor that no one sees, but which protects him, and nothing bad will happen to him. Buy a “magic” toy (or pajamas) with which the baby will fall asleep , and which will protect the child when he sleeps. Do not scold the child if he is afraid of something, and do not reduce the significance of his fear (“I found something to be afraid of...”, “nonsense, come in, turn on the light yourself and take it...” and etc.). Or even worse, some dads feel it is necessary to punish their child for being scared, otherwise he will grow up to be a “coward.” You will lose trust, which will be very difficult to restore. Do not try to apply the saying “they knock out a wedge with a wedge” - the child is afraid of depth, and parents, in order to save the child from fear, throw him into the depths (“let him learn to swim and the fear will pass”). Or the baby is afraid of the dark, and he is left in a dark room or the lights are turned off so that he gets used to the dark. Or he is afraid of doctors, but when the child does not obey, they scare him with injections. Imagine that you are afraid of something, and so that you are not afraid, you are confronted with your fear (for example, you are afraid of mice, and so that you are not afraid, they put them in your bed every morning - a good prospect...) Come up with your child a story about his fear or a fairy tale, and always with a happy ending, where the hero definitely conquers his fear. If none of the above could help you, then it is better to seek help from a psychologist. And don’t forget that children’s mental health depends on family love, mutual understanding, support, emotional closeness and respect for each other’s feelings. Be attentive to your children, talk to them and remember that what seems funny to you may be scary for your child. Good luck to you, love and.