My husband doesn’t give gifts, what should I do? On the eve of the holidays, I am answering a thematically similar question addressed to me at one “women’s and mother’s” forum. So, today in the “Anonymous question” section: What should I do if my husband is negligent about gifts and surprises for me? My answer: I will not act very professionally now, but it seems to me that it will be useful to do it in this particular case. I would remove the words “gifts and surprises” from your question, and then the true reason for your worries will become clear, again, in my opinion. The result will be: “What should I do if my husband treats ME negligently?” And if I understood everything correctly, and you agree with the rephrasing of your question, then I have a few thoughts on this matter. What does negligent mean to you? Inattentive? Does he give the wrong thing or doesn’t give at all? Forgets? Last minute preparations? What exactly is your husband doing negligently (read: wrong), and how is this expressed? Why do I ask? Because what is good for one is bad for another. What is unacceptable for one is the norm for another, and therefore it is very important, figuratively speaking, to “synchronize the watches” of the spouses, that is, to understand whether they “read” correctly, interpret each other’s actions, words, behavior, whether they are talking about the same thing they say, or about different things. Often this is where the root of discord lies. It happens that for a husband to prepare for a holiday means buying flowers every day, stopping at the neighboring flower shop, he is so used to it. And for the wife, you need to order flowers a week in advance, write a note and put them on the bedside table, so that when she wakes up to a sweet floral aroma, the first thing she sees is a bouquet lovingly collected just for her! This is a different approach, a different perception. And here only the table of peaceful negotiations between spouses will help. Both have already developed their own “matrix” of perception of life: how to congratulate, how to show attention, how to care. Often this basis is provided by relationships in the parental family, and then everything depends on the person - whether he relearns or, on the contrary, confirms the correctness of the behavior strategy learned from the family. You need to become magicians for each other in the family and help make your couple’s wishes come true, if “ Wishlist" are environmentally friendly (that is, do not cause harm) and are pleasant to all participants in the process. And for this you need to know these very dreams in order to understand where you can join the process and organize that very treasured bedside bouquet. It makes no sense to remain silent, wait and be offended - all this will sooner or later develop into chronic dissatisfaction with the state of affairs, you will want freedom and fulfillment, and then many choose divorce, thinking that this is a lifeline for their REAL LIFE. But it is not always the case. If you do not learn to voice your desires and communicate diplomatically, without shouting and manipulation, with your spouse, and if you do not try to hear and understand his position, then this situation will repeat again and again until you finally learn this lesson. I hope it is now a little clearer, and you can independently outline the first steps to correct the current state of affairs. Good luck to you! And if you, dear friends, have your own questions, then be sure to write them to me either in the comments under this post or in private messages. And in the near future, in this section, together with you, we will try to find answers to them. Have a nice holiday mood everyone! Always yours, Nadezhda ❤ #psychology