From the author: A fragment of the article. The article was published in full in the collection of the Center for Psychological and Pedagogical Assistance to Families and Children, “Art Therapeutic Etudes” (Ivanovo 2005). Sasha’s mother signed up for a consultation. Sasha couldn’t talk like everyone else for more than a month: “he whispers.” “Is it better to come together or just one of us?” - Nadezhda Borisovna asked anxiously on the phone. “Better” is always very individual for each case. But usually the one who calls is the psychologist’s client. Whether a child cared for by a parent will become a client by enrolling him in a specialist depends on several circumstances. Including how correctly and at the same time interestedly the parent will offer him this help. Having warned about this, I invited Nadezhda Borisovna to come in any case. And for Sasha, a meeting with a psychologist would make sense if he wants or at least shows his good will to come. Mom came alone, 15 minutes late, because... I was waiting for Sasha. It turned out like in a song, where at the same time the characters were waiting for each other in different places. From Nadezhda Borisovna’s story, however, it became clear to me that the meeting did not take place not by chance, but because of excessive pressure on the child, often unnoticed by the parents. Parental authoritarianism and edification are sometimes so comprehensive that it manifests itself in all the intricacies of relationships, even when parents try to behave differently with their children. Children at a certain point, most often during adolescence, begin to confront and resist this as best they can. In this case, resistance manifested itself through obvious sabotage of the mother’s desire to meet with a psychologist. Well, even if I never see Sasha, he can be helped by working with his mother. Often more than one meeting must take place so that, as if the obvious, becomes accepted by the client as his own, dear. It takes professional patience to talk about the same thing in different words, different questions, different situations, in order to finally unite with the client not in words, but in reality. That's when changes happen. What happened to Sasha was not the first time. The boy lost his voice several years ago. It wasn't that long then. The shock of the medical procedure then, according to my mother, brought back my voice. I note that this happened in the fifth grade, when many different people came instead of the teacher who had already become like family to Sasha - and it was scary. It is interesting that children who were unloved in the first grades often adapt better in the fifth grade: the poor fellows have freed themselves. Nadezhda Borisovna also spoke about other cases that could be qualified as psychosomatic reactions to circumstances that displeased Sasha. Sasha’s mother had no doubt that he would come to the appointment. I doubted it. However, a week later he is in front of me. He is thin, short, looks about 12 years old, although he is 14. Brown big eyes, wide open - he looks with alarm, “what are you going to do with me?” “How would you like us to talk to mom or just the two of us?” - I ask. “With mom,” he answers. I understand that it will be difficult to have a conversation. How to avoid hints and “pushes” from your mother? How can I help a boy cope with the paralyzing anxiety of meeting a stranger, almost a doctor? I explain who I am, who comes to me, and what I do. Listens carefully. When asked what’s wrong with you, he answers – I’m sick. – Do you want to draw your illness? He happily nods his head and confidently sits down at the table, choosing a blue pencil first as he goes. I sit down next to him, having chosen, while discussing with Sasha, a distance that is convenient for both of us. I maintain attention to his drawing with silence, silence. And slowly, I ask questions that are wise in their simplicity, which were systematized by Maria Vladimirovna Osorina (1): What is this? – What is he (it, etc.) like? -What is he doing? Sometimes I also ask: “What does the dolphin want? How are the birds, the island, the sun doing?” Gradually, a picture of the state appears through the drawing.25.