Scare and shame children, what is it? Is this a measure of influence, manipulation, an approach to education or punishment? I became interested in when, whether consciously or unconsciously, parents scare their children. Are these some new “horror stories” or is it still something old that was inherited from dear parents? What do these messages convey? What do they teach? I understand this part: parents do this for their own convenience, so that it is possible to calm a naughty child or teach him something. But here’s what’s interesting... because somehow it affects later. I don’t take into account the fear of the dark and the woman, although it would be worth it. After all, as adults, many people are afraid of the dark and watch horror films with great pleasure and fear. Yes, the fear of darkness is a vital, deep-seated fear, and this is not what we will talk about. And about closer things. Quite often I hear the phrase “Stop being naughty, otherwise the policeman will come...”, “Well, go to bed, otherwise the guy will take you away (insert the wolf here, what other favorite ghoul is in circulation)”, “Stop it, otherwise your mother will (you can go through your entire family tree) I’ll tell you.” It is not surprising that then children expect some kind of trick from the police, that men cause horror, that mom, tired from work, or dad, comes with an exhausted face, and this throws the child into a stop. The child reads the facial expression as anger, and if the expected reaction is not followed, punishment is implied, then the effect disappears. What are adults trying to convey to their children? What message? Or about shame. Also very entertaining. “Why are you dirty like a boy!”, “Stop crying - you’re not a girl.” Whats up? What is the message in these phrases? When boys grow up, a common percentage of asthmatics among men is a ban on tears. Or the message that girls cry, are they...weak, tearful, is this bad? Girls are more squeamish about boys than reality requires. All men throw socks around in women's heads. This is a generally accepted rule. It’s interesting that we ourselves then conform to these rules. What other messages do we bring to our children, if only they listen to us? “If you behave badly, I don’t know what I’ll do to you.” A great message of terror of the unknown. An adult speaks very sincerely about what he feels, but I am more than sure that 90% of people are afraid of the unknown not because the unknown is a threat, but because it is familiar. Even unknown changes for the good bring fear. The best way out is curiosity. It's not that destructive. So what are the messages of horror and shame? The effect of intimidation, division, stereotyping. I still classify shaming children in some way as bullying - it still scares them. Shows them that they are not like that, that they do not correspond - this is very scary. I think we should think carefully before we say anything to our children. And at the same time, it would be good to understand what we want to convey to them, what will remain in their souls. So how do you scare your children if you do? For example, I still feel discomfort when I lie down on the edge of bed and I really don’t like clowns. How is it for you??