The question of the relationship between adult children and their parents will always be one of the most popular. For a modern person, despite all the digitalization and acceleration of the pace of life, the state of internal comfort is still important, and relationships with parents play a significant role here. Often people who come to a consultation with the question that not everything is going smoothly in their relationship with their parents sincerely want to correct the situation. As a rule, even before contacting a specialist, they themselves tried to somehow correct what did not suit them in such a relationship. However, in most cases, such independent attempts were unsuccessful. Often people, wanting to improve their relationships with their parents, try to somehow influence them so that they change. For example, in order for mom to stop calling and asking about aspects of her personal life too often, people try to convince mom that they are already adults and have the right not to report to anyone. Usually this position only leads to the fact that the mother is offended, but does not change her habits. That is, the conflict has taken place, but the problem has not been resolved. In my opinion, in such situations, people in the overwhelming majority of cases focus only on their own interests, while ignoring the needs of the same mother. But if you look at the situation from the other side, it becomes clear that the mother only wants to make sure that her child is safe. Imagine that you first see what the true reason for your mother’s anxiety is, and only then think that she is encroaching on your independence with her calls. After all, hand on heart, it is worth admitting that parents, for the most part, want the best for their children. It’s just an understanding that such goodness can be very different. But then the question is not to prove that you are adults, but to talk about what is valuable and useful for you and what is not, and sometimes can even be harmful. The thing is that we often spoil relationships ourselves when we try to change our parents, and it is almost impossible to do this, so it is more useful to be more attentive to the reasons that force parents to be overly attentive to our lives. And next time, before breaking into another polemical battle, say to yourself: “Stop, why does mom care about this, what does she really want?” Live with joy! Anton Chernykh