Remember Krylov’s fable “The Swan, the Crayfish and the Pike”? Well, the moral of this fable, remember for sure: “and things are still there.” And the reason for this result too: the three main driving forces (swan, crayfish and pike) were diametrically opposite. It just so happened. Example one. There is a nice woman who lives in a small regional center and is planning to move to live in the capital in about five years. Only in words. At the same time, she is constantly “interfered” with circumstances, people, or simply the time of year. Who moves in winter?! The topic of moving has long become the main topic in conversations with all my friends. Especially with those who have already moved. For a long time and thoroughly. Example two. There is a man of mature years who, about eight years old, has been talking about the fact that “it’s time to go into free-floating business of his own.” At the same time, he continues to work for companies, periodically changing them. For a change and under an “obvious” pretext. I even tried to work for myself for six months. But somehow it DIDN’T work out. I came back. Example three. There is a married couple who regularly have to be brought “out of the crisis” through consultations. Such “eternal” clients. At the same time, each individual says that he doesn’t need this relationship for nothing, that this is “hell and torment”, and not a family, that it will definitely leave.. only “we’ll pay off the loan and put the child on his feet.” And so for almost ten years. There were attempts to leave. And they returned to each other again. The list of examples can be continued indefinitely. But this is probably enough. Question one: what do these people have in common? Answer: an obvious difference between “I say” and “I do.” It's obvious to us. But not for them. Question two: why do they have this and what to do about it? Answer: because these people have the concepts of I WANT, CAN and HOW SHOULD IT BE IN MY LIFE as diametrically multidirectional as the heroes of Krylov’s fable. Appeared once upon a time picture, “HOW IT SHOULD BE IN MY LIFE”: a bright, full of impressions and opportunities life in the capital, or your own cool and successful business, or a strong family, love, reciprocity with this particular person, for example. A kind of Krylov’s swan, who would love to be in the clouds. And deep down, sincerely, without censorship, lives “I WANT”: a quiet, unfussy life in a small town, or relaxed work with a “scapegoat and the culprit of all my bad things” in the form of a boss, or not looking for anyone other, do not change anything in the relationship. A kind of pike from a fable, for which the quiet pool of the lake is its native element. Everything is clear there, that’s where you want to go. Because...And then the third appears - “I CAN” (Krylov’s cancer, by analogy, which can ONLY move backwards). Because I can only do it as usual. And I CAN’T do otherwise. It’s hard for me, scary and difficult to TRY in a different way. And the picture “WHAT SHOULD BE IN MY LIFE” stands before my inner gaze and gives me no peace. I think something needs to be done about this. But I still WANT something familiar. And CAN still do what he has done hundreds of times. Therefore, at the moment of choosing “do” or “talk about it,” such people choose to talk. And so on for years, decades. The conclusion is simple. If your picture “WHAT SHOULD BE IN MY LIFE” requires from you an unrealistic (according to your own ideas) “I CAN”, and the usual “I WANT” pulls you into a familiar pool - throw this picture away! At least you'll save yourself a lot of nerves. Relax and live in the usual “AS ​​IS.” Or if you have already taken on SUCH a picture “HOW SHOULD IT BE IN MY LIFE”, then be prepared for the fact that the usual “I WANT” needs to be diluted with new desires, and the thousand times used “CAN” is necessary put it aside and learn something new. Then you will have a chance to move into a new tomorrow. Otherwise, things will still be there.