Anonymous question I publish my notes on more than 5 resources and from time to time I receive questions from readers in private messages or in comments. At the moment, there are about 3-4 dozen of the most interesting ones, and I decided to answer them by organizing a new section “Anonymous Question”. I don’t promise that I will run it constantly - everything will depend on your activity and my busyness. BUT I will be happy to try to answer your questions in detail, so that your life becomes even more conscious and happier - it will be useful and pleasant for both me and you. It makes sense to agree “on shore” that I am not the “last resort”, and my answers will most likely be subjective. They also do not replace working with a psychologist, but I know that such support for some of you is an important help in solving your life problems. Therefore, good luck, dear friends! And the first question from my subscriber from one “mom’s forum”: How to survive betrayal? My answer: You need to determine for yourself whether you are ready to experience it? Are you ready to first let in this pain, experience it, and then let go and not manipulate it in disputes and quarrels with your spouse? Is the husband ready for the fact that he must first realize what he has done, and then work on it so as not to get into this mess again? Are you both ready? Surviving betrayal is a very multi-layered process for both, and not just for the one who was cheated on. And first you need to answer the above questions - honestly, sincerely. And if you are not ready to truly forgive, then is it worth it now to betray your heart and torment each other? It's up to you to decide! It also greatly depends on the current state of things, including the most ordinary ones - is there somewhere to go, what to live on, what to feed the children... I know that many are going nowhere, but few are ready for the consequences of this “nowhere” and they often regret it very much later. And if you are really ready to work on the relationship, then first you need to “cry out” all the pain, react to it and utilize it - there are special techniques that are aimed at this. Next, you should sit down at the negotiating table with your husband, and, if he is also ready to stay and work on the relationship, have a heart-to-heart talk with him. If possible, it is worth discussing a visit to a GOOD family psychologist. You need to find a cause-and-effect relationship, neutralize it or transform it, otherwise you can suffer like this for a long time. There is always a reason for cheating, but it is NOT ALWAYS ON THE SURFACE (they cheat not only on those who look bad or are nagging, dear friends). Next, you need to try to control yourself and your thoughts and not manipulate your husband’s infidelity. You had a chance to leave if you couldn’t forgive, but you decided to stay and forgive, which means this is already your responsibility. And by reproaching, you only prove once again that you still have something to work on! I know many couples whose love survived this “storm” and they have been living together happily ever after for decades, and some of them even claim that it was after the betrayal that they began to love each other even more, realizing what they could lose and what everything can be destroyed literally overnight. But I repeat, before “covering up” the situation with pseudo-forgiveness, you need to dispose of negative feelings and find the true reason. Then the chances of “happily ever after” increase significantly. Good luck to you! Always yours, Nadezhda ❤#psychology