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From the author: How to use projections for the benefit of your own development. Additional material for consultation. “Man, as if in a mirror, the world has many faces. He is insignificant - and he is immeasurably great! — Omar Khayyam The topic of projections was probably not touched upon by only the laziest. Projections, as psychological defense, allow a person to protect his value for himself - self-worth. Few people in real life correctly use this type of psychological defense for their own benefit, more often only to justify their imperfections. For example, if a person decides to work with himself through the projection method. Then he pays attention only to the most harmless manifestations of himself in the world around him. Feeling very irritated. He deliberately begins to “extinguish” it, justifying himself by saying that “it is in me, but it is expressed much less.” Let me explain. The projection mechanism is very simple. Having noticed something unseemly behind him and not having had time to repress it, a person resorts to the following cunning maneuver: at an unconscious or weakly conscious level, approximately the following reasoning occurs: “Not only I experience pride, but others also experience it. I am not alone in my shortcomings. Moreover, in others they are more pronounced. This means that I have less pride, and therefore I am better than others. This is just about the straw in someone else’s eye. Thus, a person restores his self-esteem and saves himself from many unpleasant experiences. from self-development. This situation is often strengthened by another significant point that is worth paying attention to. Aggression is also one of the defense mechanisms - “the best defense is attack.” When a person is faced with an obstacle or threat (which is often invented), he unconsciously shows aggression. more or less expressed. Once in a state of aggression, a person completely forgets about projections and allows the interaction situation to proceed unproductively. Although it would be wiser to track only the aggression arising within a person or other negatively colored irritation, it is precisely this that is a signal of the presence of a projection. The more powerful the irritation, the stronger the projection, the more attention should be paid to understanding the situation. All people in our lives are mirrors that reflect we only have ourselves. It doesn’t matter what we see - positive or negative - everything is our reflection. We cannot see in a mirror what is not in front of it, what we are not in, we cannot see in another, no matter how much we want. Therefore, it is important to see not only the “bad” but also the “good”. The “good” seen in someone should be strengthened in oneself, the “bad” should be filled with quality. Projections work very accurately with people close to us: with parents or spouses or children, or close friends. We always attract partners like us. They are the best helpers in our self-development. Of course, it’s easier to tell our partner what we don’t like about him and leave him, find another one whom we initially choose based on the same likeness to us. But the trick is that at the beginning of a relationship we see our “good” in a person and only then, when we have considered all the “good”, we begin to see the “bad”, which we do not want to use for our own benefit, we choose the most primitive option - another searching for a similar “good” partner. In this regard, divorce is unproductive in family relationships, because the next partner will have an identical set of qualities, differing only in their name. Taking the lesson of “living mirrors” is probably one of the most interesting and significant development practices for each of us. By taking this lesson, you won’t be able to outwit the mirror, you can only deceive yourself by refusing to accept what you see, but it will be like staying in one for the second year and in the same classroom, alas, walking on a rake is for many a favorite pastime in life. A completed mirror lesson is when you learn to see the person in front of you, and not your reflection in him. This is when you see only the beauty of this person's soul,!

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