How to build and be in a relationship is like planting and growing TOMATOES. Why TOMATOES, you say? Well, firstly, for the image you need a visual plant known to everyone, Secondly, this vegetable is the brightest and juiciest, and thirdly, hmm... well... I just really love TOMATOES! in order to grow delicious TOMATOES, it is very important to find good seeds! “SEED” SEED is another person, that’s just me. This is your acquaintance, an acquaintance with whom you may begin or begin a relationship, which subsequently develops into creating a family. If the SEED of a tomato is weak and unhealthy, it can usually be seen right away. You just have to look closely. It is advisable to do this in different lighting conditions. In communicating with each other's friends, on vacation, and...when wallpapering (or other repair work). I’ll be honest, choosing a SEED is a very responsible, important moment! It’s important to think carefully and take a closer look! If you don’t want your children to be crooked/sick/mentally disabled, don’t marry crooked/sick/mentally disabled people. Everything is very simple. Who are you kidding here? Well, only if yourself. Some “things” are visible immediately, or almost immediately. “SOIL” If you have chosen a good SEED, then you need prepared and fertile SOIL. * Preparing the place for planting. The place for planting should be freed from trees (these are your ex-men, or rather old relationships with them, and they must be completed and uprooted from your heart mercilessly and completely) and bushes (your fears), the grass of doubts and bad moods can be mow (although I must admit that this hated, irrepressible, ever-growing “grass” will bother you all your life. This is a fact. It’s okay! The main thing is to get rid of the grass in a timely and systematic manner. (Otherwise there may be too much of it, like reed thickets in the swamps) And you can get lost in these thickets of uncertainty and negative attitude. Then you can get lost for a long time... But in this resulting empty space, it is better to plant flowers of joy instead of weeds (from small, pleasant gifts that lovers give each other even before marriage to larger and larger ones). expensive) Fertile soil is a comfortable space for life and activity *Fertile soil is a place where there are no other plants (in our case, people, even relatives and friends, i.e. it is very important to live separately from your own alien parents), away from the acidic soil, which will corrode the roots of any future TOMATO! (interrupt or strictly limit any “toxic” relationships with friends and family), and also try not to plant the SEED in the swamp, there seems to be a lot of humus there, but only the quagmire and suffocating methane will destroy both the TOMATO and you along with it (I mean relationships with people who have addictions, bad habits: alcoholism, drug addiction). Even the best seeds don't have a chance to grow into something truly fruitful and beautiful. Even the most intelligent and wonderful man with a serious alcohol addiction cannot be a good father or husband. Sometimes, temporarily, yes. But then there are terrible failures into the quagmire, into which they so easily fall, but then it is so difficult for anyone to pull them out. Sometimes they drown in it forever... “PLANTING”. For a TOMATO to grow and make you happy, it needs: - warmth (positive emotions, goodwill, humor), - light (reciprocity, mutual understanding) - watering, water (love, brightness of emotions) .“WATERING” (WATER-love) At the beginning of a relationship, everyone thinks that love is an endless, self-renewing resource. I hasten to disappoint you, this is not entirely true. There is less and less rain (read WATER), and more and more watering is needed. Where can we get WATER if it runs out over time? And the severity of love experiences noticeably decreases. Take buckets and drag them from other places. It could be a “well” (favorite activity, hobby), “river” (friends and just positive people), the sea (just the sea, real, not figurative, these include joint trips and other wonderful placesmountains/cities, mountains/cities). Love is a resource that is wasted if you do nothing, if you don’t know how to store and extract it. And without water, the long and painful “death” of TOMATOES. Keep the WATER (love) - water the TOMATOES (relationships) and you will be happy! And what else did I want to add? Hmm, I forgot. Oh well, never mind. Then I'll remember. I’ll tell you: “GROWING DISEASES”, attack by beetles. Well, our wonderful TOMATOES have grown stronger, bloomed and are ready to bear fruit. But the enemy is not asleep! Voracious parasites are attacking our still young TOMATOES! No! Not this! No! But Colorado beetles with zebra war paint silently and brazenly devour tender foliage, looking thoughtfully at you. But who are they? And where did they come from?! So they were always close. You just didn't notice them. It’s just that their time has come, because we ourselves unwittingly created and raised them. It was they, the beetles, who woke up and grew out of the larvae of the past: “accumulated grievances,” “unspoken claims,” “empty promises,” “deceptions.” Yes, there are so many of them on our TOMATO! Will he survive? No, he can't handle it on his own. We need targeted help - “insecticides”. What kind of strange remedy is this? These are heart-to-heart conversations, well, in the sense that two adults start yelling... - or else, they start beating a plate... - again, not what we need. So, they sit down at the table, with a mug of aromatic tea and a delicious bun/cake/candy, and begin to CALMLY share WHAT they don’t like, HOW it makes them feel, and offer a constructive solution - WHAT and HOW they would like to change the situation. Kindness, efficiency (and humor, but in very measured doses) are welcome. Periodically, family planning sessions/advice/meetings need to be repeated when the need arises, without leading to emergency situations when TOMATO needs to be saved. Well, our wonderful vegetable has been saved. Hurray, comrades! Hooray! We did it! “RIPENING OF FRUITS.” The more our beautiful fruits ripen and become heavy (children grow up), the heavier it is for our TOMATO. He begins to bend under them (under the fruits, they are our children, and even crack, and look and they will begin to break, the TOMATO bushes cannot withstand the weight). You need to go to the nearest forest and bring it, and prepare STAKES. I present to your attention STAKES - this is everything that relieves unnecessary stress from our lovely FRUITS (children). These are grandparents (our parents), hired nannies, partly a school, a kindergarten (support is often questionable, but we won’t go deeper), sections and clubs. In order for STAKES to be as functional as possible, they need to be well PREPARED and sharpened to support our FRUIT. Not all STAKES are good and can be of help. There are very businesslike and busy modern grandparents. Schools and kindergartens can keep the child occupied and free up time for us to work, but there can be problems there too. But here some things apparently just need to be lived, they are inevitable. “HARPING THE HARVEST (FRUITS).” It is very important in a timely manner, i.e. Harvest on time (harvest the FRUIT - they are our grown children - boys and girls)! Otherwise, they will become overripe, lose their beautiful, kind appearance, emit an unpleasant odor and begin to rot, sometimes together with the TOMATO bush itself. Don't let this happen! Clearly and systematically separate children from their parents in a timely manner. Let them study (sorry here), work, communicate, set and achieve THEIR (not yours!) goals! And do it YOURSELF! The TOMATO bush will feel better after picking, but there is no need to hang the already picked FRUITS back on our bush again. This won't make anyone feel any better. Better help your adult children find fertile land and ensure they plant their own TOMATO bush. And, yes, dear parents! The main thing is don’t interfere! Don't be that acidic, toxic SOIL for your children, let them grow their own beautiful TOMATO! So, no matter how strange and even wild it may sound, both vegetables and Homo Sapiens have the same general mechanisms of harmonious life. Sincerely, your “agronomist-selector” and simply a lover of TOMATOES - V.A.PSYes,!