From the author: The long-promised continuation of articles about adequacy :) I’m in the photo for this article. And not just me, but I, playing the letter “I”: “I - said the letter I, the main one!” In first grade, at the ABC book festival, we acted out this wonderful fairy tale by Boris Zakhoder about how the letter “I” claimed first place in the alphabet. And of course, by the end of the fairy tale, it was clearly explained to my character that without a team you are nothing and it doesn’t matter what place you occupy, what matters is who you are. Everyone has their own value in their place, and we will re-educate the upstarts and “yakolki”. A good, kind Soviet fairy tale. By tenth grade, a lot had changed. In particular, the word “team” has become almost a dirty word, but another word has become very fashionable—personality. And not just a personality, but a Personality, and increasingly, even a PERSONALITY. Which needs to be developed, groomed and cherished. That's right. Necessary. Very. But we are so carried away by this process that we seem to have forgotten that there are other people around (other Personalities, by the way). Self-development was slowly replaced by narcissism. How so? Let’s look at the example of the call “love yourself”, beloved by psychologists (and me, of course, too). What is meant? Learn to respect yourself, deal with your complexes and fears, and begin to enjoy life. Often this requires more than one year of therapy and serious work. In popular literature, in women's magazines and television shows, the advice to “love yourself” takes on more accessible forms. Love yourself - find time for gymnastics in the morning and a bath in the evening. Love yourself - don’t keep unnecessary things, thoughts and relationships. Love yourself - dress beautifully, don’t forget about makeup. (Colleagues, I’m not “attacking” anyone, I write articles about the same thing myself!). But there is a downside to this advice: it is common for a person (especially a young and immature person) to choose the path of least resistance. For example, let’s take articles that after a hard day at work and an evening filled with household chores, a woman should find a moment to rest. Here is a young lady reading them, sitting on her parents’ neck, and sees only the word “rest.” Summary of the article: “a woman is obliged to rest.” She doesn’t see anything about the workday, cooking, or children in the article, because she doesn’t have these worries in her life yet. But there is a desire to go to the island with palm trees from the next spread in the magazine. In general, the recommendation to love yourself has turned into a sales tool. Familiar slogans: “I deserve it”, “Give in to temptation”, as well as various options on the theme “only the best, only for you”, “allow yourself”, “feel yourself”, etc. Advertisers literally carry us in their arms, sit us on a throne, and present us with a crown and a medal. We are exalted, and we happily give in to the temptation to feel like kings and queens (at our own expense, by the way). What did they tell us about Stalin and the “cult of personality” in history lessons? In my opinion, something more terrible is happening now, let’s call it the “cult of Yachtness.” What does the stated topic have to do with this? What does adequacy have to do with it? Yes, very simple. If everyone thinks, speaks and acts only “on their own wavelength,” realizing their own ambitions and interests, then to those around them they often look inadequate. For example, about ten years ago I had to deal with personnel selection (a most exciting activity, I tell you. Very useful for psychologists!). And the most difficult thing was to find an adequate specialist in the field of advertising and PR. According to the announcement, girls and boys came in a crowd, as if they were being recruited: graduates with a fresh diploma, practically no experience, but with a desire for a big salary, while not being able to pass basic tests for competent speech. And most of them were offended by our refusal, sincerely not understanding why a public relations specialist needs to be able to write and speak competently. But each of them is a Creative Personality. Or maybe just a “yakolka”, as they used to say in my almost Soviet childhood? Another example comes from the recent experience of educational psychology. The group does independent work, to work :)