One of the components of neurosis is self-esteem. As a rule, neurotics have inferiority at their core (I have not yet met full-fledged neurotics). So. It is this component of neurosis that in many ways poses a threat to relationships. In short: neurotics surround themselves with an unbearable atmosphere from which they want to escape. And not only for the neurotic person himself, but also for the people around him. Scientists have conducted several studies that have revealed a number of interesting patterns. Neurotics, due to their conviction of their own inferiority, tend to underestimate a lot. First, they underestimate themselves. A neurotic person has an idea of ​​himself as defective, bad, wrong, etc. Since deep down there is a belief that they are bad, it is extremely difficult for them to believe that the people around them evaluate them positively. Particularly a partner. I will give examples from research. The husband in the questionnaire reports a positive attitude towards his wife. The wife reports that her husband considers her an idiot. Secondly, neurotics underestimate their partners. They think much worse about their chosen ones than they actually are. Example: the husband is in fact attentive (manifested in actions), but the wife devalues ​​his attention, it is not enough for her, he could be better. And this is about the question of dislike - there is always not enough of everything. It is also worth noting that people with low self-esteem can choose objectively “bad” partners, because they believe that they do not deserve more. Then they also get upset because their partner doesn’t give them something. Thirdly, neurotics are often dissatisfied with their relationships. They would also be happy, provided that they think that their partner treats them poorly and has a number of shortcomings. Now let's move on to considering the results of people with a high assessment of themselves (adequately high). Surprisingly, the picture in this version is completely opposite. People with high self-esteem talk positively about their partners, themselves, and consider their relationships great. Here you can talk about objectivity and revaluation. If there is an objective assessment, then in fact their partners are wonderful, they are satisfied with everything, and they are happy with everything. If they overestimate (themselves, their partner, their marriage), then the shortcomings are ignored and the person is happy due to his attitude to what is happening. Happiness in a relationship comes from a positive perception of yourself, your partner, and the relationship itself. Those who believe that they have chosen a successful partner and built a wonderful relationship are happy people. It is also worth noting that people with high self-esteem treat themselves more carefully and value themselves. Accordingly, they do not choose people who neglect their comfort. The study was also longitudinal. That is, the cut was made after some time. So. Over time, the relationships of people with low self-esteem only worsened, while those of people with high self-esteem only became stronger. From this we can conclude that if you do not work with your neurosis and low self-esteem, your deep-seated beliefs about yourself and your partner only become stronger. The belief in your own badness and in your partner’s negative attitude towards you only grows. Hence the suspicions, reproaches, nagging and, as a result, the relationship ends. To be fair, not only self-esteem is responsible for the happiness and strength of relationships. Many factors influence attitudes. Nevertheless, it is obvious that self-perception plays a significant role. If you want to maintain your relationship, be happy, it is important to work on your self-esteem. You can work with a psychotherapist on this. I also have material on this topic - https://www.b17.ru/article/393244/https://www.b17.ru/article/399783/https://www.b17.ru/article/381877 /https://www.b17.ru/article/406614/https://www.b17.ru/article/380616/https://www.b17.ru/article/380356/