Secure attachment. Stories about anger. “Don't be angry! It doesn’t suit you!” (From my personal childhood experience). With a feeling of guilt, I remember the period of my life when my daughter was 5 years old. At that age, she sometimes behaved like a wild animal and brought adults from our family environment into “quiet horror.” Therefore, her emotional “kicks” made me feel ashamed and caused a reaction of instant prohibition. How wrong I was and how unfair I was to her! Then I did not yet realize that I had my own traumatic experience in connection with the manifestation of “forbidden” feelings. A lot of time has passed since then and many fateful events have happened in the life of my family. Now my son is growing up, and our story about anger is completely different. Thanks to personal therapy and a huge amount of reading from masters of child psychology, I learned to deal with my anger and “withstand” the anger of my children. Now in my life there are three pillars that strengthen me and my children: support, affection, discipline. My son and I come up with games and play roles that allow us to legalize anger and anger: “growing dinosaurs”, “cave people”, “tigers on the hunt” and others. Now I want to share with you real cases. During my consultations, unexpected things often happen, striking me with their obviousness, but at the same time they often confuse parents. For example, a 7-year-old girl is looking at the toys on my table. I ask: “Which toy do you like best?”, she answers: “Yellow ball.” I ask further: “What color is your favorite?”, He says: “Yellow!” Then I ask: “What color don’t you like?”, and the girl, frowning, answers me: “Red.” At this moment, I note to myself that she is wearing a red dress, a red bow on her hair and red socks on her feet. Mom, apparently, noticed with what surprise I was looking at her daughter’s clothes, and immediately said the phrase: “Well, the fact is that red is my favorite color!” But the red color represents not only energy and love, but can also excite and provoke aggressive behavior. We adults often do not realize that we ourselves are provocateurs. It is also important to note that aggressive behavior very often accompanies age-related crises. In any case, we must know that with his aggressive behavior the child sends us a signal about his distress, about his uncomfortable state, and our task is to respond in the right way. Also, aggressive behavior in children can arise as a result of violation of personal boundaries or disagreement with the requirements. In general, invasion of a child’s personal space can cause anger, and not always consciously. Personal boundaries are a separate topic; it is complex both in the therapy of adults and in the formation of new experiences in parent-child relationships. Getting angry, in principle, is a great difficulty for most children, and especially when they are angry with their parents, who, in turn, stop them with the words “don’t be angry, it’s bad!” Children hear this phrase completely differently - “if you’re angry, then you’re bad!” This is where the child’s fear of losing close relationships with significant people arises, because anger can destroy these relationships. Many parents are categorically not ready to accept their children’s anger. And in the future, such children grow into adults who sacrifice their own interests and needs, lie and feel very little. Their experience is that you need to be flexible and comfortable - this is the only opportunity to maintain a relationship, not to be lonely, not to stop being loved. At another consultation, my mother complained that in a fit of anger her 3-year-old son said: “I’ll kill you.” and I’ll bury you in a hole!” Can you imagine the horror of this woman? And I invite you to think about how you could react correctly in such a situation. It is important for children to be in a secure attachment. This is where nature's design comes into play. Secure attachment