Alphonse’s theme is hackneyed and does not surprise anyone. For some reason everyone pays attention only to his person. Nobody thinks about the woman. And if they think, then in the manner of: Well done! Looks after himself! Love for all ages! Or - why not? Obviously from such an optimistic position. Is this so? Alphonse. In a nutshell, this is an infantile man. His image, age, status, and so on are not necessary here. The basis of any Alphonse is an immature psyche. He finds a woman who is older than him, who will make concessions accordingly: she will not offend, will not hurt, and will be lenient. Further, Alfons like to hide behind morality - “She can teach me something, put me on my feet.” In general, the functions of a mother come first. Let’s look at an example. He found such a mother. And I found more than one. The most important thing in his life was, of course, the most generous. He also had “love” - the girl for whose sake he justified his actions. He took money from mommy number one and folded it for that... distant... beloved one he thought about at night. And he led a stormy sex life on the side. In the strictest confidence from mommy number one. Now I want to stop and shift the focus from Alphonse to the woman - mommy number one. Indeed, in this situation its role is quite important. So, what kind of woman is this? Common features of women who buy “male” love 1. Isolation from reality These are rose-colored glasses, a view of the world from the perspective of a child who wants to see justice in everything. Her own illusory world. Does this woman really not see who is in front of her? And this is not just a moral monster. This is a person with a sick psyche. Immature child. Sex with an immature child? What kind of defense mechanisms should work for her personally? Of course, this is a moralization: after all, I am doing something for him. I buy him a ticket. I pay for the hotel. I feed. I'm getting dressed. But let's face it, she doesn't do anything for nothing. She buys a body with a child's psyche. And he pays for it with money. To avoid feeling guilty.2. She is deceiving herself. This is super, mega deception! This is an act against oneself. Self-directed aggression. And this is easy and simple to check, you just need to ask yourself one single question: Will he be with me if I don’t pay? Will he pay for me at least once? And if he pays, with what face? And she pretends that she doesn’t know the answer3. If we take aggression, then there is another option. This is acting out. Covert aggression towards Alphonse himself. After all, this is a humiliation of men in general. As if in his face she humiliates men in general in principle. She buys them, thereby devaluing them.4. Psychological incest. When a woman raises Alphonse and treats him like a mother with a child. And after a while she goes to bed with him. It’s hard for me to imagine how she feels at this moment. I'm not talking about the process itself. And I'm trying to catch her thoughts. Probably this is a set: “After all, I’m old, I have loose skin here and there... I don’t have young breasts. My receding hairline is definitely visible... in any pose. My teeth... (here I will remain silent for the reader’s peace of mind). I’m ugly, because he sees it - he’s not blind.”5. She deliberately injures herself. A woman over forty has experience in relationships. And he knows that they are ending. In her case, it wouldn't just be the end—it would be trauma. A real trauma for the psyche. It will hit all layers of her life. Starting with your own self-esteem. Friends' reaction to the breakup. After all, they were always whispering behind her back anyway. Only she can imagine what they will say about her in this case. It is unlikely that anyone will sincerely regret it. Loved ones, children. This is a separate topic. But their reaction will also be banal. This is loneliness. Tears and again aggression towards oneself. Why does she need all this? I thought for a long time, what is this vicious circle leading to? Hint - she needs it! It’s simply vital to tell yourself – “I’m nothing!” And the most amazing thing is precisely those words that sound in Alphonse’s head: “I’m a nonentity…»