From the author: Source Let's figure out what communication is? Simply put, it is the exchange of information between a person and the world, including the world of people. This process is interesting and exciting, but not for everyone. It becomes difficult and threatening for many reasons that live in the past and can begin from childhood. There are no harmonious communication skills in the parental family. If at home, in front of the child, relatives did not know how to negotiate, if in the process of developing relationships, aggressive reactions, resentment, jealousy, anger, reproaches and humiliation were used. Then a person, copying the behavior patterns of his parents, transfers them into adulthood in the future. Psychological trauma and low self-esteem. Once a person has experienced condemnation, harsh criticism, bullying, or a failed relationship, he may be afraid of repeating such an experience for a long time. And exactly how he will avoid such an experience, as they say, who knows what. For example, a painful communication experience can make a person want to close himself off from people altogether and become a loner. And someone tries with all his might to please others, sacrifices himself for the sake of the interests of society, pretends to earn their praise, and spends his whole life proving to people that he is worthy of approval. The third puts on the mask of a tyrant or intriguer, trying to bring pain to people, looking for their pain points, suppressing the will, using people as a soulless resource. Only such methods of protection and self-preservation do not bring healthy social connections and joy from communication. Lack of knowledge about the psychology of communication and the principles of harmonious communication. If you don't understand yourself, it will be difficult for you to understand others. Lack of understanding of what is happening makes a person a puppet in the hands of the social world. But if you want to be in it like a duck to water, start studying your inner world, then the world of other people will be in the palm of your hand. And of course, practice and practice again! Guide to action.1. Fears live in your head, not in your life. You create them yourself. We are afraid of what we ourselves invent in our thoughts, and even then we begin to be afraid. The more we focus on fear and failure, the less we strive for success and feel natural. What is a person afraid of in communication? In fact, he is afraid of being rejected, misunderstood, ridiculous, etc. And this fear of not meeting the expectations of other people can be so strong that it fetters not only the physical body, but even thoughts, not allowing him to say a word when meeting. And in order to ease your fear, first of all, you need to come to terms with the fact that you You can’t meet other people’s expectations everywhere and always, and you don’t owe them anything either. Some will like you, some will hate you, and some will not care about you. When you are free from expectations, fear will no longer appear and you will play, that is, you will become natural in communication. And this is the most attractive thing that can be in a person, this is his true beauty and magnetism!2. Be wrong and different! If you are always trying to be good and perfect for everyone, you will not succeed. No one is ever perfect, everyone makes mistakes and finds themselves in different communication situations. The question is, how do you feel about this? If you nag yourself from morning to evening, then you will not learn anything and will not become wiser. But if you thank yourself even for a mistake, perceiving it as a life task and lesson, then this will bring you more benefit and a minimum of worries. And you will stop being afraid of making mistakes, which are a storehouse of your wisdom and strength. Be sure to allow yourself to be different: bad and good, kind and angry, quiet and loud - this is behavioral flexibility and integrity. And by allowing yourself to be different, people will also accept you unconditionally. And there will be people who will appreciate your kindness, but someone will have to be put in their place and shown the boundaries of communication. “If you can't say no, your yes is worthless” is a popular proverb.3.!