Sometimes people turn to me for free help. I have windows in my consultation schedule, and sometimes I consult for free. But before deciding whether to consult or not, I give those who seek help a link to an intelligent website where they can ask their question and get an answer from several psychologists at once. Moreover, it’s all free. After a while I wonder if the question was asked on this site and what the result was. Want to know my stats? 9 out of 10 people do not take advantage of my recommendation to talk to psychologists on a free site, but continue to talk about an unresolved problem and complain about life. Why am I doing this? I check to see if the person is ready to pay for help and support. If there is no money, are you willing to pay with time, effort, patience (to at least correctly write a request on a free website). One of the main reasons for failures, life problems is the lack of patience, willpower - the lack of willingness to pay all of this, including time, for change situations. If I am a bad negotiator, I need to pay to attend trainings, endure mistakes, failures, spend time analyzing them, learning lessons. If I don’t know how to defend myself in a relationship with my husband, I need to pay a psychologist for help, or a coach for training, or spend time studying relevant literature, pay using willpower to overcome fear in order to openly express my position to my husband. The richer you want to become, the more you need to pay for it with your time devoted to working on yourself. Willingness to pay is also an important indicator of your unwillingness to endure the present. What is happening has become so unbearable that I am ready to start straining myself just to change everything. This means that what I want is more valuable than what I have now - money, time, lack of additional stress. This means that I will greedily grab onto any sprouts of change, help them sprout in my life in order to change the present. That’s why I test those who ask for free help. And most of them don’t pass the test, because even free help for them is too expensive.