Our life is like a river. Sometimes it spreads out over a wide expanse, sometimes it narrows to the size of a steep mountain threshold. We never know what awaits us around the corner. We can only hope. And if our usual expectations of a stable future diverge from the reality that literally falls upon us, leaving us in complete confusion and lack of understanding of how to live further, then this leads to the very crises of life that many have heard about, and many have already encountered in their lives . What are crises? First of all, these are TRANSITIONS. Transitions to another stage of development as a necessary condition for Human existence. Each transition to the next stage, as a step into a new, still unknown, destroys the already existing habitual way of life and at the same time sets a person the task of developing his ability to adapt to completely New conditions. Having overcome the next transition, we find ourselves in a relatively long period of stability - that same relative calm - and gain a sense of balance, which is so necessary for us to live. Until the new transition... Sri Aurobindo said amazingly about the peculiarities of a person being in crisis: “... the main difficulty of the TRANSITIONAL state is the internal emptiness... We become extremely sensitive and helpless - it seems as if we are hitting everything in the world - gray and aggressive people, heavy objects, disgusting events - the whole world seems to us completely absurd.” This is how we will enter different ages of our lives, like newborns, without any experience behind us, no matter how old we are... What to do? We can only learn, learn to LIVE, understanding that there are no ready answers to all our questions. And also to obtain and appreciate knowledge that gives an understanding of what happens to us in life, and this, in turn, can contribute to the development of resilience, which will definitely be needed in the new transition. This article is exactly about that. There are different crises... In psychological science, life crises are conventionally divided into childhood crises of development and age-related crises of adulthood. In this publication we will try to look at the peculiarities of experiencing childhood crises in girls. A man was born! The path to this world is difficult, requires overcoming and, in fact, is the first crisis of life. It is due to the fact that a child from a blissful, almost ideal environment (in the case of a favorable pregnancy) finds himself in a completely different world, alien to him. Was he expected, and in our history HER? For sons are always expected, but with daughters there are completely different stories... Too often, women in psychological consultations begin their stories with the fact that... “my parents didn’t expect me, they didn’t want me, they wanted a son.” And parents can be truly heartless when revealing these facts in detail to their daughters. This is painful to realize. It’s even more painful to live with this, trying to prove to the world, and first of all to the most significant figure (namely the Father), that I am no worse than a son! I can do it, I will fight for your love, I will prove that I am strong, that I am worth something! This is how the first experience of competition with men will begin... But this will happen later, when the girl is able to understand this at the level of consciousness. In the meantime, she experiences tension unconsciously, along with the tension of her mother, who seems to have not lived up to her husband’s hopes and this, one way or another, will affect her development and formation as a person. Children grow up, and by the third year of life they learn to distinguish themselves from the world around them. “I myself!” - the slogan of this age. This is also the age of amazing adventures and discoveries in this vast and unknown World and the first social experience. And how to do this research activity without bloody noses, broken knees, torn pants and dresses!? What can be taken from boys, that’s why they are boys... But you are girls! This means you MUST be neat, tidy, clean, etc. etc. What am I telling you! Each of us remembers the experience of being told offmom for the torn bow we used to tie the paw of a clay dog ​​in the sandbox; for a dress hopelessly stained with the milk of dandelions (so what if they are yellow and fluffy like chickens) and much more... And then the search activity for the girl inevitably fades into the background, and her appearance with all the obligatory things comes to the fore social attributes of being an obedient and good girl. And all this in order to please significant adults: mom and dad. The child is ready to do anything for this, even to abandon himself and his needs. Very often this ends with the child seeming to become inhibited, which can manifest itself primarily in a loss of interest in life. A sort of little “grandmother” who is already tired of life. And then comes an age where it is very important for a girl to confirm the Father’s love for herself. After all, this is her first experience of interaction with the most important Man, which will have meaning and consequences for her for the rest of her life. Does the Father bring up manifestations of the feminine in his daughter, does he encourage her for this, does he respect her feminine side and allow her to be a princess? Women who have had a positive experience of such relationships with their father in childhood are always distinguished by high self-esteem, confidence and belief in their feminine uniqueness. They are free, they do not need to confirm this uniqueness and beauty through artificial means. They already know: “I am beautiful!” The opposite, unfavorable experience is that the girl begins to desperately fight for her father’s love: competing with brothers or other men in intelligence, strength, dexterity, etc. And gradually becomes a warrior in armor. How else can one live in a world where one must always defend one’s place in the sun! Then comes the time of school, where, on the one hand, one is taught to take care of boys, while more often developing the maternal instinct rather than the feminine principle. On the other hand, they continue to actively compare the achievements of girls and boys, thus activating competition between them, which first of all hurts little men and, secondly, creates a “brain explosion” in little women. Since the double meaning of the messages of adults is extremely contradictory: “Are you acting like a girl?”, “What can we take from them, girls!” and “You’re a girl!” So is being a girl dignified or humiliating? That’s the question. And now adolescence... is the beginning of growing up, through the awakening of the body, through the powerful development of the intellect and through the questions “What do I want to be? Whom I want to become?" This is one of the most significant periods in a person’s life. The results of experiencing this crisis will have echoes throughout your future life. The experience of crisis here is primarily associated with physicality. After all, this is the period of first initiation, the essence of which is the transformation of a girl into a woman. A very important and significant moment in the life of each of us! And what it, unfortunately, often turns into. Instead of a celebration of awareness and acceptance of one’s nature, there is confusion, misunderstanding and fear. It was simply indecent and even shameful to talk about this for a very long time. How many small and big tragedies associated with this we remember both from our lives and from the lives of other women. By mentioning this here, I do not set out to change the world's opinion about this issue. I just want to draw attention to the “usefulness” of such pseudo-attitudes and try to look at their consequences for the personal development of a Woman. Can a Woman be free without accepting herself in her physicality? What does this lead to in the future? First of all, it leads to ignoring one’s needs related to the body and, accordingly, the inability to take care of oneself. I also want to remind you that far in the future, each of us will have to go through another crisis - a crisis associated with the fading of “women’s opportunities.” But that's another story...The period of adolescence is associated with several more important aspects in a girl's life. First of all, this is a problem of attitude towards yourself and your appearance. Often this manifests itself in rejection and the desire to remake oneself. Possibilities of plastic.