How to protect your children from many harms. drug addiction, violence and suicide. It is noteworthy that it is the close emotional connection between children and parents that is the most powerful protective factor. At the same time, such factors as, for example, level of income or family composition (full or partial) do not matter so much. According to another study published in the late nineties, in the civilized world, parents on average spend no more than 7 minutes a week communicating with their children . This time is absolutely not enough to establish any meaningful trusting relationship with the child. Children need much more parental attention and time spent together. Spending enough time interacting with your child one-on-one will not only strengthen your relationship, but also make your child feel very important and special, which will have a positive impact on his self-esteem in the future. Many parents complain that their children, especially during adolescence, they become distant and do not express much desire to share their problems with their parents, or indeed spend time with them. If this happens, think about HOW you spend time with your children and WHAT you do while doing so. If you spend this time lecturing, criticizing, or asking questions with passion, such time will not seem pleasant to either you or your children. And of course, they will begin, consciously or unconsciously, to avoid such contacts in the future. There is one very effective exercise that I recommend to all parents to improve the quality of time spent with their children. It's called "Special Time". This exercise will improve your relationship with your child in a very short time. Here are his rules: 1. Spend 20 minutes every day with your child doing something he enjoys. It is important to present this to the child in the most positive way, for example you can say - “We don’t spend much time together, but you are very important to me, let’s find time to communicate every day.” If your child is young, make him feel important and special - say, “Every day after dinner, there is a special time. This is YOUR time. We will do what you like. What do you want to do today?” Maintain a positive communication atmosphere throughout the entire 20 minutes, even if it is very difficult.2. During “Special Time,” do not speak to the child in a commanding tone, do not ask questions, do not give instructions or edifications, and do not engage in “education” at all. This is extremely important. The purpose of this time is to establish contact with the child. Don't criticize your child. For example, if you are playing a game and see that a child is cheating, you should not judge him for it. Just say: “I see you changed the rules of the game! Well, let's play by your rules.” Remember, the purpose of this exercise is not to teach or educate, but to establish a relationship between you and your child. You will be engaged in upbringing at another time.3. Notice all the positive aspects of your child’s behavior and bring them to his attention. Praise your child for all, even the smallest, achievements. For example: “Today you are doing much better than yesterday” or “You are so clever with this construction set, you have skillful hands.” Focus on the good, this works much more effectively than criticism.4. During Special Time, listen more than you talk. The author of this exercise, neuroscientist Daniel Amen, likes to tell the story of a friend of his who complained that his 18-month-old daughter did not pay any attention to him when he returned home in the evenings. He believed that this came from the fact that “a daughter is always closer to her mother,” and that this would go away with age. However, Daniel noted that it is most likely!