From the author: We all know very well that we all come from childhood, and that relationships with dad and mom largely determine our lives. On the other hand, this is a very complex topic. There are a lot of emotions in it. Not always pleasant. Often you don’t want to go back to childhood at all, much less tinker with it. I want to turn away from her and rush past. How to improve relationships with parents and make them resourceful for yourself? Life constantly brings us back to the topic of parent-child relationships. And, most often, through direct communication with our parents. And even if the parents are no longer alive, then we have already gained experience of this communication. Usually, relationships develop according to one of the following scenarios: the excessive presence of parents in the lives of adult children, who may already have their own families. This may be constant control or a demand for increased attention on their part; the second option is the opposite - a lack of parental love, understanding, acceptance, we also suffer from this. There are simply no parents in your life (morally or physically), and you feel an inner emptiness. How to compensate for those psychological and emotional deficits that have formed in your relationship with your parents? How to build boundaries between yourself and your parents so that they do not interfere in your life without asking? How is the balance between parental figures and us built in our family? How do generic energies flow in general, and what do we generally have the right to expect from mom and dad, as well as how to carry this energy further into the world. When starting to work on the topic of relationships with parents, you need, first of all, to diagnose them. Answer yourself a few questions: are your relationships with mom and dad positive, “resourceful”? Do you receive from them the necessary warmth and support, thanks to which you move easily through life? Is your relationship comfortable for you? Your parents’ love for you is unconditional and does not require anything in return ?Perhaps you feel dependent on your parents. They support you, but you constantly or periodically feel indebted, guilty, and the like - you do not feel free. Perhaps you have a difficult relationship with your parents in which you are completely immersed in their problems. They constantly demand something from you, involve you in their life, and you would gladly get rid of the need to be in constant contact with your parents, but you don’t know how. If your relationship with mom and dad is different, this is also necessary take into account. At the same time, each of us is given the opportunity to change these attitudes in ourselves, and at almost any age. This requires time, patience and a work ethic. The losses in your childhood were too great, and making up for them is like saturating the soil, depleted by heat and drought, with moisture: you water it, but the water seems to go nowhere. During the first time of therapy, it will most likely seem to you that all actions are being done in vain. It is very important not to stop at this stage. Where are our internal resources nourished? Our psyche consists of separate parts - subpersonalities. Inside us there is the figure of a father, a mother, our inner critic, a child, perhaps a saboteur or a gentle, feminine “Turgenev girl”, etc. Because. we cannot remake our real mom and dad, then we create within ourselves the figure of the “correct” internal father - strong, loving, reliable, the figure of the “correct” mother - unconditionally accepting, caring, gentle, giving. We begin to saturate our basic layer of personality with positive emotions, like parched earth with moisture. Our attitude to life changes, a lot of internal resources appear that were not there before, and no one will take them away from you. Such work is possible through personal therapy, where we We work through these issues, intensively nourish our child’s layer of personality through initiations. You receive ready-made tools and exercises for forming images of father and mother within the psyche. And through your own!