How does the psyche become fixed in trauma? - the “potty training” stage - from one to three years and the “oedipal” stage - the stage of falling in love with a parent of the opposite sex from three to five years. And if at any of these periods of life a misfortune happens to us - difficult life circumstances, grief, stress, our psyche REMAINS THERE forever. We freeze in those circumstances because we become fixated on the injury and the age at which it occurred. And even if you don’t remember any injuries, this does not mean that they were not there. It is the psyche that takes such good care of its protection and survival. We grow up and don’t remember many circumstances, but for some reason we feel an internal dissonance: Here I am an adult, I’m 35/40/50 years old, and sometimes I feel helpless. I am often overcome by inexplicable anxiety and fear, overcome by a feeling of loneliness, abandonment and fear of loss. I find myself in a codependent relationship, I myself suffer from addiction (food, alcohol, tobacco, gaming, etc.) I focus on my negative experiences and feel depressed. It is difficult for me to communicate with parents, partners, children, or, conversely, I have the best mother in the world, but there is neither a man nor children. I depend on other people’s opinions, constantly seek the approval of other people and sacrifice myself. I always expect that They will help me, they will give me something, or I have already despaired of waiting, and still I think that someone “should.” I have two higher educations, but I cannot find a decent job. I feel insecure among other people. I I feel helpless and unable to change anything... This list can be continued for a long time. By fixating on trauma, we unconsciously experience duality: I am both here and there - in the past at the same time. Now imagine how many traumatic events there have been throughout your life. And where are you now? Do you even exist? Trauma splits the psyche into fragments. It is impossible to be here and now when the fragments of your soul are forever frozen somewhere in the past. And then, your physical body is here, but mentally, in your internal image, you are still standing at your trauma, which you don’t even remember. “But how to remember?” - you ask now. In psychotherapy there is no task to literally remember In a sense, it is important here to connect with feelings, realize cause-and-effect relationships and integrate experience from your adult position. Therapy is aimed at restoring the integrity of a person, his individualization, finding his Self, when the lived experience is meaningful and integrated, when you can rely on it as a foundation to allow you to build a good future for yourself. Explore and integrate your lived experience, grow through the pain of experienced traumas in your adulthood, you can form internal support, internal value, learn to take responsibility for your life and make conscious choices in it by joining the “Finding Yourself” course http://quantpsi.ru/kurs-obreteniya-sebya This course was created for those who are ready to work hard to become the Creator of their wonderful Life. Everyone who responds is welcome! If the post was useful to you, like it, share your thoughts in the comments, what you have already realized in yourself and what you want to achieve?