Who is our good boy or girl here? Probably everyone who has a dog (or a cat) is familiar with this phrase. But not only dogs can hear it. Such phrases are also used for children, perhaps with a slightly different wording, but they are used. And then these children grow into good adults. And it’s like, what’s wrong with that? Everyone is good, kind, smiling at each other. They praise each other. Well, it’s just a fairy tale, not life. “You can’t become famous for good deeds!” Do you remember this phrase Shapoklyak? What characteristics come to mind when we think of a “good” person? This is a non-conflict person, responsive, always polite and friendly, ready to help and support at any time (you can add your own options). One of the main criteria here is at any time. At any. From childhood, children are sometimes instilled with a distorted understanding of “goodness.” We must share. We must forgive. We must, we must, we must. But in the end, instead of objectivity - the desire to please everyone, instead of the ability to refuse when appropriate - the fear of appearing bad. So it turns out that when we grow up, we begin to sacrifice our interests for the sake of those around us. We seek their approval. We remain silent when our interests are violated. And all for the sake of safety, for the sake of the feeling that we are loved and everything is fine with us, that we are “good”. In this situation, everything external becomes more important than internal values, feelings and sensations. The result is a feeling of wasted effort, time, energy, internal anxiety, resentment, etc. Remember the moment when you seemed to respond to help with such a desire, but in the end you regretted it (maybe you didn’t have enough resources, or maybe for another reason), but you also can’t refuse, you promised... So after all, is it so important to be good? Or maybe you just need to change your understanding of “goodness”? For me, a good person will be someone who knows how to be honest and frank with himself and with others. Who knows what he wants, knows his boundaries, who is ready to give, but at the same time defend his interests, beliefs and values, while maintaining his dignity. PS. Are you a good boy/girl? To make an appointment for a consultation, you can contact us by phone 89630140805