First of all, I will theoretically justify what is happening. All questions along the lines of “How can I [change a person who is not behaving the way I like]?” - these are questions at the level of a moron. You can't change anyone. If you don’t like something about someone else, don’t choose such people, or even better, take care of yourself and determine why you attract them to you. Such things don’t happen by chance. This takes on a particularly brutal tone in cases involving close relatives. A frequent situation of “mutual treatment,” when everyone wants to change the other and drive each other into a “frenzy of emotions.” In simple words, if you are looking for a way to “stop” your mom/dad/wife-husband from trying to change you, you sign a contract for war , which has no end :) Seriously – this “treatment” and “modification” does not end well. Besides – often we don’t want to turn into our parents, right? And your attempts to remake them are an absolute copy of their behavior towards you! That’s why they talk so often, a lot and abundantly now about the practice of acceptance. But HOW to do this is almost not described; it is implied that this is some very simple garbage, easier than brushing your teeth. But in practice, almost everyone is faced with the fact that it is UNREALISTIC to do this “just like that”, if you want to accept it. In this regard, I want to introduce readers to the “formal”, step-by-step a technique of acceptance and at the same time establishing personal boundaries. In general, three fairly simple steps are taken - but again, you will have to make some effort. Step 1: Take a piece of paper and write down there all the actions, patterns of behavior and attitudes towards yourself that are difficult for you to accept in a certain person. A minimum of 10 sentence points – usually more, but never less. Write down in a “neutral” form, that is: “My mother allows herself to... [do this, treat this, etc.].” But without the first part, without indicating the identity. Step 2: Okay. As soon as the maximum possible points have been written down, print “I allow [father, mother, daughter, clients, etc.]” ​​at the top/bottom of the page in large, well-highlighted letters. Graceful, isn't it? Step 3: Now on to the matter of personal boundaries. Accepting others does not mean tolerating unworthy, “second-class” behavior towards yourself. Therefore, on the other side of the sheet (or on a new one, depending on your luck), you write down in the same way what you will not allow and what you are not going to participate in, despite the behavior of those around you. Here you can immediately write at the top: “I won’t allow [you, dad, sister, etc.].” Ideally, both lists are complementary. That is, if in one - “I allow you not to approve and dislike my tastes, my interests and values,” then in the other - “I will not allow you to influence my choices and my decisions in my life.” In some The kind of personal boundary in this case is automatically the “reversal” of the sheet. You have your own “guide to action”, written in your own hand, in problematic situations.* * *PS: about what to do with the inevitably arising anger and irritation - read here.