The beginning of life is the mother, her feelings, relationships with her. When a woman is pregnant and a child is growing in her belly, but she does not want him to be born, this is a contradiction in itself. For the mother this is unbearable both physically and mentally, but for the child it is simply a disaster for his little world, since from the very beginning of life he is completely and completely dependent on his mother and is in dire need of her love. It follows from this that the initial trauma is identity trauma (self-denial). The child feels without words that my mother does not want me, rejects me, does not accept me. “I shouldn’t exist! I’m a burden!” While in the womb, the child also feels the mother’s desire to have an abortion. If the child survives, then he has already experienced a life-threatening situation and is familiar with helplessness from the fear of death. From the feeling of “No” for the child, the most important thing is that the child is forced to split off from himself the mother’s unconditional “Yes” to his existence. In this early split, the baby loses touch with himself. It’s as if he doesn’t have permission to live. He betrays himself, choosing life, remaining in deep pain. After abandoning himself, the child no longer lives his life. Question: “What should I be like? What do I owe for my life? Life turns out to be survival, dependence on the outside world and on the mother arises. The child is called upon to become the meaning of life, which he does not have. As long as children serve the survival strategies of their parents, their existence is justified. But as soon as children have their own ideas and needs, parents begin to manipulate them so that the children quickly abandon their ideas, attaching a feeling of guilt to them. The consequences are the appropriation of imposed feelings. The child turns into a container. In survival strategies, he becomes a narcissist, a psychopath, a neurotic. Fearing someone else's opinion, a person becomes aggressive and unpredictable. Because of the unconscious fear of death, hatred of others and self-rejection arise. All this blocks love and understanding of what my life and self-care could look like..