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Before revealing the topic of IMAGO, I would like to briefly remind you about attachment. Perhaps you have heard or read something about different types and know that attachment is formed before the age of 2 years. It depends on how our parents responded to our needs in childhood, whether they were in contact with us, whether they could react emotionally, whether they heard and understood us. It is believed that in the womb the child feels wholeness and heavenly freedom from desires. He has everything and is available in abundance. This experience is consolidated in the original memories and is experienced as a state of original integrity and unity. We experience this state as a kinship of souls, “understanding at a glance” and “half a glance.” This desire for wholeness is referred to as “eros,” or life force. Even if we grew up in a relatively prosperous environment, we may still have invisible “scars” that prevent us from building strong love relationships. After all, our parents were ordinary people who acted as they considered necessary. We may still have emptiness in the area of ​​“under-loving,” “under-closed” needs, “under-lived” emotions. After a while, we bring them into relationships, in the hope that with someone we can feel the experience of unity. Subsequently, we begin to be attracted to people who have both positive and negative traits of the adults who raised us. If in childhood we experienced the experience of separation, then we will look for people who will become reliable, caring for us, and in extreme cases (when there are large voids from lack of care) we will strive to merge with partners in order to feel the state of original integrity. In order to find such an ideal partner and compensate for the lost elements We rely on the repository of information that we collect when interacting with the most important people of our childhood. This is how we form our own IMAGO. What is an IMAGO? An imago is an image of the people who were responsible for our survival. This is a certain silhouette that has few physical features, but combines the character traits of your main adults. In our piggy bank, we may have the “persistence” of a father, the “compliance” of a mother, the “self-confidence” of an uncle, the “forgetfulness” of an older brother. This collection is carried out by our ancient reptilian brain, which smoothes out faces and images in memory, leaving only sensations and experiences that are fixed in bodily memory. The brain records meaningful interactions with them, especially those related to feelings. It does not interpret the data, but simply embeds it into a pattern. Our new brain (or neocortex), when meeting a partner we like, cannot consciously understand why we are so attracted to this person? It takes a long time for it to come to the realization that Outwardly, the partner may not at all resemble our parents, but with his behavior, emotional response, which was so well known and understandable to us, he will cause physical attraction. The more our image of IMAGO corresponds to the image of the partner, the greater the attraction will be and the more it can arise in pair of conflicts, the more discontent there may be. As in the proverb, there is one step from love to hate. Romantic love correlates with the degree to which a person corresponds to your Imago. Clients experiencing discord in relationships come with requests: “he (s) does not understand me” “Before the wedding, he (s) was different”, “We often conflict and cannot give in”, “I want understanding, but he (s) does it wrong.” The reason for dissatisfaction in most couples is not visible. Formally, partners may quarrel over household chores, money, raising children, choosing a vacation spot, but unconsciously they strive for an invisible goal - restoring a sense of harmony and integrity, fullness of life and joyful unity with which they come into this world. Based on attachment theory Many different types of relationship psychotherapies have emerged. One of which is IMAGO therapy. In Imago therapy, the emphasis is on Imago dialogue. This is a special kind of dialogue

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