From the author: interview in the newspaper "Journalism for Everyone" http://liga.ucoz.com/zh_3cv.pdf PSYCHOLOGY IS AN ARTPsychology is a profession or destiny? I don’t know the answer to this question yet, but it is quite obvious that in order to become a real psychologist, it is not enough to complete courses or even university. A person comprehends psychology throughout his life, every year gaining new experience, knowledge, feelings, drawing them not only from his own, but also from the destinies of other people. I’m talking about all this with Aloy Shelgunova, a practicing psychologist. - Alla Vasilievna, is there really such a stereotype in society that only crazy people go to a psychologist? - Unfortunately, it still exists, although recently the psychological literacy of people has increased significantly. - You can explain the difference between a psychiatrist and a psychologist? - A psychologist works with the norm. A psychologist’s client is an ordinary person who is trying to solve some life issues. His personality has not changed and his mental state is within normal limits. If a person has a serious mental illness: schizophrenia, manic psychosis, etc., then these are already patients of a psychiatrist or doctor. A psychologist must know the limits of his competence and not go beyond the boundaries of his profession. - Do you think every person needs a psychologist? - Only the person himself can answer this question, it is purely individual. If a person has some problems and questions, then why not ask for help? - I heard that every good psychologist has his own psychologist. Have you contacted a psychologist? - Of course, this is part of my profession: a serious psychologist must always go through his own path as a client. - How do you help clients open up, overcome shyness, isolation, how do you win them over? - There is no universal method. Each person needs an individual approach. And here, first of all, empathy, sympathy and empathy play a role. - Have there been cases in your practice when clients did not open up? - Unfortunately, there have been. I work mainly with children, but I also maintain close contact with parents. As a rule, a child's problem grows out of a family problem. Not all parents are ready to accept this, unfortunately. They often claim that their child is somehow wrong, problematic, and look for any excuse so as not to change themselves. And changing in adulthood is quite difficult. - Can you name the main problem of our time? - I probably won’t take on such courage... But I can name the main problem in my work. This is a problem of lack of closeness between parent and child. When either the relationship has not been built since childhood, or there is some kind of initial rejection by the child’s parent. The parent cannot accept the child and, accordingly, does not give him the warmth and love that is necessary for harmonious development. - You used to work at a school, and, in my opinion, the profession of a school psychologist is not particularly in demand, it has never been given its due. What do you think are the main functions of a school psychologist? - The functions are the same as those of a non-school psychologist: help children, help parents, help teachers. But at school there are certain difficulties in the work of a psychologist. The point is that a psychologist should not go around classes and look for people with problems. Children must come to him themselves. And often children and their parents believe that the psychologist is still part of the school system, that he is in the same camp as the teachers, head teachers, etc. It is quite difficult to integrate a psychologist into the school system. - From a psychological point of view, how does the upbringing and development of children from single-parent families differ from children growing up in a full-fledged family? - We live in a society where there is a man and a woman. For a child, the family is his microcosm, his microsociety. And when there is only a mother in the family, the male part is excluded from the emotional life of the child. And mom needs to fill this part. If she begins to take upon herselfboth male and female functions, then it becomes unclear to the child what a man should do and what a woman should do. And if in the family he is watched by his mother, aunt, grandmother, sister, then the child has only a female model of the world. The main thing is that there is a competent replenishment of the missing model of behavior. Could it be any significant adult male? Coach, teacher, grandfather, etc. As a rule, single-parent families are female families. And at first, the child is in a very close emotional connection with his mother. In the future, the father’s role is to give the child a feeling of something separate, a new experience. Since dad is, as a rule, order, a regime, and mom is more inclined to indulgences and pampering the child. Thus, the presence of a father helps the child grow up faster and move on: to kindergarten, school... - Do you think character traits are inherited or is everything formed in society? - It is impossible to say that personality is formed only in society. A child is not a blank slate, he is already born with some inclinations, has a certain predisposition of character, his own temperament. But the family can either soften the “sharp corners” in the child’s character or, on the contrary, contribute to their aggravation. - Do you know how to abstract from the problems, the negative energy with which many patients come? - Here, probably, we should not talk about abstracting from the negative energy, but about its containment. A psychologist needs to be able to withstand the client’s strong emotions without judgment or criticism. - Does this interfere with your personal life? - I wouldn’t say. I have an interest in people and analysis of their problems. This is part of my life. - Has it ever bothered you that you know too much? - Not for me. The more I get to know a person, the more I empathize with him. For example, when a psychologist sees a person who is trying his best to make an impression, he understands: the person has very serious problems, he is very afraid to open up. - Can you make a psychological portrait of a person by appearance? - There is such a direction in psychology - body therapy . There, psychologists solve the client’s problems through his body. They believe that any problem a person has always lies in his body, in some kind of muscle tension. For example, there is an expression - muscular armor, when a person is very tense, he tries to keep his back straight and not allow any unnecessary movements. Here we can already say that the person controls himself very much, is afraid of making any mistakes, and it is very painful for him to lose his face. - I heard that you are doing sand therapy. Tell us what its principle is? Sand therapy is a method that arose within the framework of the Jungian analytical approach. . It uses a sandbox with sand, water and a set of figures. And a person builds his own world, a sand picture. And no matter what a person builds, he will be guided by the unconscious, since it is expressed through symbols. This is the point - to look into the unconscious, express feelings, experiences for which there are not always suitable words, restore mental balance, gain contact with yourself and make the right choice. As Dora Kalff said, sand therapy is a way to establish access to the deep levels of the psyche, to its unconscious self-healing capabilities, which manifest themselves under certain conditions. Sometimes it is difficult for adults to build sand pictures because they cannot let go of the control of consciousness. And for children it is a natural language. And the child will always show in this picture what is in his soul. - What is art therapy? - This is a direction very close to sand therapy. Also through images, but only a person draws or sculpts. Attention is paid not only to the images and plots being created, but also to what a person draws with, how he paints, what colors he uses, where he makes accents or, on the contrary, leaves “white spots.” A patient who is inclined to express himself more freely would rather take paints, watercolors , and a person who is prone to control will most often draw with pencils or a felt-tip pen.