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I'm not a robot

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Privacy - Terms

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Powerlessness is a very complex and painful feeling. It can be so difficult to face it that you want to “break through the concrete wall” to the last, just to avoid admitting your own powerlessness. In the process of psychological work, both the client and the therapist have to deal with this feeling. And it is very important to find the courage to admit it. Only under this condition is it possible to live such a painful feeling and understand what each of us has the strength and ability to do. A psychologist, having experienced his own powerlessness, can understand how he can really help a client, while the client can choose a path that will ease his suffering. Client case: A young man came to me for a consultation. His mother is married to a tyrant, he abuses, humiliates and manipulates her. She doesn’t leave him out of fear that he will commit suicide. The client is an adult with a great desire to help his mother, but his attempts to change something are unsuccessful. He came to the consultation to receive instructions “how to make your stepfather kind and caring.” Here, as a psychologist, I have to do something that is still very difficult for a client to do - experience his powerlessness. The powerlessness is to fulfill the client's request. There is no advice or instruction that will magically make another person the way we would like. You can work with each participant in this story. You can work with your mother about what makes her live with a tyrant and what is so frightening about breaking up this relationship. With my stepfather about the nature of his aggression and manipulation. But none of them ended up in my office with their own request. They are all at home, and for some reason they remain there with their usual way of life. Having discussed with the client all his expectations from the work and my capabilities as a specialist, we agree on the next meeting, and then a long work awaits us about admitting our powerlessness to change our mother’s life, about accepting her choice, and about how to now go our own adult path and finally start building your life. *The note was published with the client’s consent, recognizable facts and details have been changed.

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