From the author: If suddenly you started to “sour”, and there was a desire to give up on everything and give up, perhaps the reason is not at all what is happening now. About melancholy comes from childhood. I meet There are many active, persistent people who suddenly give up, become deflated and go into depression with a feeling of complete hopelessness. And the situations are not “terrible”, and in more serious alterations a person has been and swam out, could, did, “sank his teeth in” and made his way forward, walked, moved, became active and developed. Why did you suddenly give up now? What happened? And this is what happened. In common parlance this is called “on old yeast”. The situations that have arisen now have broken through the ford and unleashed an old, deep melancholy. This feeling of total helplessness and hopelessness already existed. And then, when it was, it completely corresponded to the situation. Next I will give the story of one experience. Reprinted with the full permission of the author. “I often have strange sensations now. Suddenly, out of the blue, I feel a little nauseous and after a second my mood suddenly deteriorates. This state cannot be compared with anything. It's special. It rolls from the bottom up and seems to lay you on your back. If you give in to him, then you need to lie on your back like a soldier, stretch out your arms and legs, and then fold your arms on your chest, immobilize and... die. I remember such a state came over me as a child. My grandfather picked me up from kindergarten, we walked along the asphalt sidewalk along the wooden fences of private houses, I moved the stick along the boards of the fences, it rumbled so coolly... and suddenly - it. Nausea and sudden drop in bad mood. As a little girl, I learned to recognize it in myself and run away from my bad mood.” A small child cannot name feelings; they burst through “bad mood” and bodily sensations. But by remembering the sensations and the situation corresponding to them, “looking into your childhood,” you can free from memory those incredible feelings that were so manifested in the body. “... Oh, God!.. This was hopelessness, complete and total hopelessness of my kindergarten childhood. Cabinets with pictures, corridors, iron cots with sharp springs that you had to pull and unfold yourself; mattresses that were given to everyone so that he could make his own bed. And this food, which smelled so disgusting that you could only eat it by holding your breath and trying not to feel the slimy pieces in your mouth. Evil, all-powerful teachers, cunning and two-faced classmates, were always bullying someone... These terrible toilets with a hole in the floor, the inability to have privacy... Wooden verandas, where they were forced to sit the entire walk until late in the evening, sometimes happiness was given by pencil stubs and small thin leaves gray paper, you could draw... a house with a porch, a chimney, a front garden... Once, when my grandparents stayed at home, I asked not to take me to kindergarten. Only on this day. They doubted, I remember their smiling faces, and it seemed to me that they agreed, but...suddenly changed their minds, apparently deciding that they “need to go to kindergarten” and there was nothing to relax here. Probably at that moment I realized that I couldn’t change anything.” This total hopelessness of a child, the understanding and feeling of his complete helplessness, the need to live and endure everything that befalls him is an experience so total that the child’s psyche cannot digest it. It's impossible to do anything about it. It is impossible to live realizing all this. Therefore, the psyche blocks the conscious and allows it to be experienced as a bodily symptom - a feeling of nausea and emotional decline. A feeling of complete hopelessness, despair and the desire to simply die is an adequate reaction of a child in a hopeless situation. Indeed, there and then this girl was completely helpless in front of the world of adults. If you were born and raised in the Soviet Union, and went through the nursery and kindergarten system, then these feelings are familiar to you. Any other