How often during the New Year holidays we have the feeling that we need to take stock of what we have done, accomplished, missed. It’s good when the year was actually successful, or rather, we did a lot this year in order to feel success. Some people have success in their professional life, others in their personal or family life, it doesn’t matter, and then on New Year’s Day, we allow ourselves to be happy, reward ourselves, we have something to be proud of in front of ourselves and our loved ones, then the holiday and winter holidays are a joy! And if not? There are no such visible victories, there is a lot of unfinished work, and there is something that we could not do, or maybe we managed to destroy what was before, but we could not create a new one? Then what mood awaits us during the holidays? The results of life over the year are deplorable, plus accumulated fatigue, disappointment, unfulfilled expectations, or maybe loneliness, no feeling of joy, happiness. For the first, everything is in order, there is a situation of success, a feeling of success, joy, flight, happiness. It will simply continue into the New Year holidays. What should I do next? Of course, you can lie down alone on a sofa in a dark room, blaming yourself and the whole world for your problems and spend all the holidays like that. You can cry to everyone you meet about your sorrows or difficulties, or try to forget yourself or dissolve in the company of acquaintances and friends, in the hope of not experiencing failure so acutely in the past year. Putting on yourself an order is the main loser of the year! I offer another option. Take yourself, your loved one, and do some work with yourself. 1. There is such a rule - There are no defeats, there is feedback. From each of your events during the year, which you perceived as a defeat or failure, take only feedback by asking yourself questions. What useful things did this situation teach me? What did I learn about myself? Why did this happen to me? Having collected information in the answers, you will understand that any situation, even one that you perceived negatively, is educational for you, developing you. By definition, any situation is neutral, then what feelings and emotions we attach to it determines how we will live after it, either we will hang in the negative, or, having taken the experience, we will move on easily in life. 2. Any of our behavior has an intention and it is always positive. In any of our actions or the actions of others towards us, there is a positive intention. The ability to identify it makes it possible to change our behavior and neutralize the conflict. The ability to realize the positive intention that we have been pursuing makes it possible to try again to get it without negative or negative actions or patterns of behavior. This is the maximum, and at a minimum, forgive yourself for everything. 3. Ask yourself, what could you be guilty of, what could you feel ashamed of? Why is it useful for you to blame or shame? myself? In this way, punish yourself, keep yourself in a depressed state. Most often, behind this lies some part of the beliefs recorded in our thinking from childhood. A child's state of guilt for everything that can happen in the world of family and loved ones. Children very easily internalize parental accusations and admit themselves guilty of everything. Reviewing this childhood non-resource state will allow you to easily enter an adult state of accepting yourself with all your actions, behavior and forgiving yourself for it. 4. Make a list of your to-dos, achievements, lessons in life, everything that you have achieved in a year, what has this year taught you? The most valuable thing is the knowledge we received! It is enough to recognize that everyone has their own scale of success, the size of steps on the ladder of achieving “their success.” The end of the calendar year and the New Year holidays are just a date, so you shouldn’t draw a line after which everything is useless. January will begin and you will understand that life goes on, and the New Year holidays are just a respite, a rest, an opportunity to look back, to better see yourself from the outside, but under no circumstances go into the past, as they say in!