From the author: Devaluation is something we encounter so often. And we also often do not realize how seriously and deeply they hurt us. Such people receive a gold bar in their hands and say that it is a simple stone. They don't see their successes and attribute them to chance. They look at others as if through an inverted magnifying glass, reducing their size only a hundredfold. And the mountain becomes a hummock, the lion shrinks to a kitten, even a star can become a simple sparkle. They give themselves and the world a “two” rating. How an appraiser is born A little man walks through his still small universe. Everything is interesting to him there, he is a magician and creator there. He can make a ship from twigs and leaves and sail it around the world. Can speak to a cat and understand its language. He can paint a great picture of his invisible friends, whom he, again, can see. But then big people come - often mom and dad. “What is this wet trough you have? Are you answering the cat? You're not crazy. What kind of scrawl is this? You’re incompetent, come and show me how it’s done,” big people rate the creator. And the creator becomes hurt, offended, scared. It shrinks and gets smaller each time. He also begins to hide those cheerful parts of himself that are targeted. Then adults tell him that love (yes, yes, this warm, fluffy, huge one) is not given just like that, it must be earned. “If you are a good boy...”, “When you behave normally...”. And they weigh it in grams according to the price tag. Then the baby, with already thoroughly tattered wings, grows up, and there are more appraisers in his life. School teachers, heads of clubs and studios. Comrades who have already learned the language of adults and are now using their techniques. They come up and sting the living place. Then the moment may come when the stung person will also respond with a poisonous bite. This is often how an appraiser is born. And he goes into the world with a bomb that was handed to him. Defense by devaluation In psychology, devaluation (devalidation) is considered a defense mechanism. With its help, a person deprives something (someone) of real value, significance, or attributes to them negative qualities that do not really exist. This is how he protects himself from pain, from encountering feelings that, as it seems to him, can destroy him. Depreciation has become his usual adaptive mechanism, although it in itself makes life dull and joyless, deprives it of creativity, and puts an end to personal growth. The depreciating person is afraid of rejection, dislike, and failure. Afraid to trust, to be needed. The imaginary deprivation of something of attractiveness gives internal permission not to look for it or allows it to be lost “with ease.” “I didn’t really want to” is the motto of such a person when he was unable to achieve his next goal. And then, it seems, it’s not so offensive, not disappointing - I didn’t really want it. Convince yourself of this, and then try to convince others of this. The desired is leveled by criticism and indifference. “In fact, he was such a goat, girls!” says a woman to her friends, who for the previous five years assured the same friends that she had met the ideal man. “Yes, we somehow always suspected that he was a goat,” the faithful friends join in the lynching. They threw him off the pedestal and splashed thick ink on everything wonderful that was in this relationship. And it doesn't seem to hurt that much. Only the connection with reality is lost, the contact is interrupted. This means that some needs remained unsatisfied. It is also believed that the person who devalues ​​does not cope well with someone else’s competence, with the feeling that someone is better, smarter - this causes feelings that sting him. Envy, anxiety, anger, hatred. What to do with them then? Curtain them with a dense fog, deny them, move away - they are gone! It is itself! A person who devalues ​​himself and his achievements does not realize what contribution he makes to the matter. This is how the circumstances turned out, I was just lucky, it was my colleagues who tried, and I smoked on the side all the time - something like this is how he will talk about his successes, instantly turning them into.