From the author: How to choose a psychologist or psychotherapist? Personal opinion of a psychologist and an advanced participant in self-development and personal growth trainings with 10 years of experience. I am not a guru of psychotherapy, not a member of specialized public councils, I do not develop professional standards and do not claim to be the ultimate truth. Everything that will be discussed below is the personal opinion of a person who has been involved in the topic of self-development and personal growth since 2009. Who works closely with training and education centers and has seen a lot in the market for psychological services. He also has a diploma and private psychological practice. And this is what I could answer to my friends or family if they approached me with the question: “How to choose a psychologist or psychotherapist?” A psychologist should have his own psychologist. The joke is that every psychologist should have his own psychologist - not a joke, but a necessary condition for high-quality and safe work. Both for the client and for the specialist himself. The ability to build and maintain personal boundaries, deal with difficult feelings (your own and the client’s), and maintain yourself in a resourceful state. Therefore, personal and group therapy is our everything. And yes, the psychologist is the same person, not kissed by God, but well-developed personally. Availability of education Diplomas and certificates are different, blue, white, red. But whatever it is, the training must last at least three years (!) Not 30 hours, not 3 months, but three years: theoretical training + practice under supervision + personal therapy. A psychologist must develop and regularly improve his qualifications, be in a professional environment of colleagues and undergo supervision. It is my deep conviction that coursework and hastily completed tests, the name of which you will not remember later, have nothing to do with the PRACTICE of psychological counseling. It is not so important that this is necessarily the first education of a psychologist. I know brilliant specialists for whom psychology is their second education. But for those it is a conscious choice, and they are developing in this area. And this is heaven and earth compared to those who studied for 3-5 years and put their diploma on the shelf. Also, attempts to hide behind a crust in order to somehow legalize their activities seem dubious to me. And I would be wary of the gugus of personal growth who picked up knowledge from trainings and esoteric practices, went through a couple of retreats, listened to a dozen Vedic lectures, after which they felt better, and now bring enlightenment to the masses. Short-term courses in NLP, coaching, hypnotherapy, femininity here. With all due respect to the specialists who, of course, exist in this area. As for esoteric directions and schools, I admit that there are subtle matters of this world, as well as talented and professional followers of the methods. I myself am familiar with Reiki, KEN, astrology, Human Design, socionics. But I am also in favor of not replacing psychotherapy with them. Do not mislead people and do not call something that is not psychotherapy. Ethics When choosing a psychologist, pay attention to compliance with ethical norms and rules. At a minimum, there is confidentiality or time limits: the psychologist is not systematically late and does not delay consultations. Lack of sexual relationships with clients and joint trips to bars and cinema, etc. A detailed list of signs that this is no longer psychotherapy is here. It is partially applicable to other helping professions, such as medicine. Space for consultationKey conditions for psychotherapy are safety and confidentiality. Therefore, I would not agree to therapy in a cafe or at a psychologist’s home if there is no specially equipped office with a separate entrance. It is unacceptable for children to bang on the door or make noise from the TV during therapy. It should be a quiet, closed space. This also applies to online consultations. Psychologist or psychotherapist? How to choose? About the differences between a psychologist and a psychotherapist or psychiatrist; about how to choose a psychologist, the effectiveness of psychotherapy andwhy this is more than “just talking” there is a detailed article on the Meduza website. I recommend it. Manipulation and suppression How to choose an adequate psychologist? A psychologist should not put pressure, manipulate, shame, blame, convict, or ridicule. Talk in a directive manner about what to do and where to go. That you cannot live without therapy in general and its implementation in particular, and the offer is only valid for 24 hours. Intensify the pain in order to then offer a solution and sell your consultations or trainings. When choosing a psychologist, do not be fooled by psychopathic tendencies in an accusatory, evaluative or devaluing manner: “Get this nonsense out of your head!”, “Only you yourself are to blame for what happened,” “Here strict methods are needed - there is no other way”, “There is clearly something wrong with you, this is not normal”, “Are these really problems...”, etc. As psychologist and Gestalt therapist Andrei Yudin says, “personal development can occur only in environmentally friendly and safe conditions. Where there is a threat of shame, condemnation, accusation, rejection, there can be no development - there can only be retraumatization and the consolidation of pathological patterns.” I completely agree with him. 100% result guarantee A psychologist should not and cannot promise a guaranteed result: saving your family, ensuring you get married, etc. Because at least 50% of the responsibility lies with you as the client. And if a psychologist promises it to you, this is a reason to be wary. Acceptance How to choose a good psychologist? A professional is distinguished by accepting different points of view, situations, and the speed of change of the clients with whom he works. Accepting different directions and approaches. He should not zealously lead to the truth and fanatically promote any one method as a panacea for all ills. Do not try to impose your point of view and the “correct” ways to resolve the situation. Respect other people's autonomy, the right to personal choices. Matching values ​​To choose a psychologist, it would be good to find out about his values. What does he write or say about that he considers important? Look at your personality and personal philosophy. What values ​​should a psychologist respect that are important to you? For example, I would not want to go to a doctor with a sore throat, who sees me and says: “Oh, a sore throat has arrived.” In other words, he sees not a person, but a symptom. And God forbid I ever become such a specialist. I am for seeing the person behind depression. And work with him. This is what I will look for in my psychologist or therapist. Before choosing a psychologist, think about what is important to you? Because essentially psychotherapy is about the meeting of two people in the space of a therapeutic relationship, thanks to which healing becomes possible. Perhaps you could observe his life path and what you see, you like. The transformations that happened to him. What he writes or talks about. Not to be confused with the cheers of rainbow pictures on Instagram*. This has little to do with reality. If there is only life in rose or the crown of an expert, then this is a so-so story. Life consists of different shades. The life of psychologists is no exception. And no one knows how to do it correctly. What matters is how a person goes through them. How he copes with difficulties, how his worldview, environment, life context and the quality of relationships with himself and others change. If what you see resonates with you, it is already worth a lot. To choose your psychologist, look at the personality, because in one way or another he will bring himself to therapy! Specialization and requests Beware of a specialist who helps everyone with everything. I am in favor of choosing a psychologist for specific tasks. If you need to react to emotions, relieve tension, you can even go to a senior-year intern psychologist. Reflection and active listening skills are the basis of the first year of preparation. And the services of such a specialist will be cheaper. If your needs are family, choose a family psychologist. Problems with children - to the children's. But here you need to take into account that the child is part of the family system and, as a rule, a carrier of the symptom. Most likely you will need to work with.