It often seems to us that people who have achieved success or often win, it seems to us that they were simply lucky: However, there is a certain strategy that traces the stages of education (for adults, re-education) of a successful person. And we can take these simple tools and apply them in the life of an ordinary person! Often what makes a person’s life unsuccessful and unhappy are problems, unsolvable problems. Very often you can hear a person say: “I have so many problems! And also you!” Or people often say: “What are your problems? Tell me.” Problems are in the air... In the Russian language there are 2 words for the same situation - there are problems and there are tasks. And if you think about it, a problem is something that has reasons and probably has someone to blame, and a task is something that involves a solution. And if we even begin to apply a simple trick - call all problems tasks and say instead of: “God, I have so many problems with him!”, Say for example: “God, I have so many problems, with my husband or child.” Or instead of saying: “You have a problem child!” say: “You have a child with a lot of tasks!” And thus, when we hear the word task, our brain seems to open up, because... where there is a problem, there is a solution. So, one of the exercises that I recommend to people is to name certain words! In situations where you see problems, call them TASKS. And learn to transfer situations in life from the frame of a problem to the frame of a task. Before we look at this situation in more detail, I would like to give a recommendation to parents: Some parents say: Why does my child need mathematics? He will not be a mathematician, however, a passion for mathematics, or the development of creative imagination, accustoms the child to the fact that if this is a problem, then it can be solved. And therefore I give a footnote for parents: mathematics makes a child not a mathematician, but a problem solver! And what will the child’s mathematically trained brain be in the future? No matter who he is, an artist, a musician, a writer, a mathematically trained brain will easily solve complex issues. What if you learn to transfer the situation from the frame of a problem to the frame of a task. This can be done even simply by asking questions. Questions that you simply ask yourself. Two things that we can control in life: - this is our breathing and we can watch it and make it faster or slower, or freezing for a while and - our attention. We can control our attention! If we imagine that our attention is a kind of spotlight that wanders through the corners of our consciousness, then we will understand that we can control our attention. However, I cannot control your breathing, but I can control your attention with the help of questions. Questions are an interesting thing! Now, if I ask you a question, and you answer yourself! What place in your city do you like best? And where in your house is your favorite thing? Remember the face of someone close to you? What good happened in your life in the morning? And Even without answering me, you can observe how the spotlight of your consciousness begins to move behind the images that I ask about. This is how our subconscious works by showing us images. The question is an amazing thing. By asking the right questions, we thus control the spotlight of our attention and consciousness finds the answer! When a person has a situation that he calls problematic. He begins to ask the following questions: “What’s the problem?” - What are the reasons? - Who is to blame! - Why did this happen? And even worse. - Why did this happen again?, On the one hand, it seems that he is asking quite the right questions and begins, like a dog biting its own tail, to run around this situation again and again, plunging into the search for those to blame, etc. because where does this come from? . Most likely, this comes from school: In many classrooms, if you listen and put a voice recorder there, then you can see that the teachers are saying: “Why did you do it again (you made a mistake), let’s find out who is to blame so that this doesn’t happen again. ANDour brain, accustomed to ask in this way, makes a problem out of a problem and makes it an even bigger problem! The problem is growing with new problems. And a thought virus begins to wander, reproducing itself. What if we take this situation and ask ourselves other questions? Ask questions: - What is valuable for me in what happened? - What cool experience did I get now that it happened? - And what discoveries are there for me? ?Many people in this place may have a mental stupor - because the brain is not trained to think like that. The brain begins to resist and say inside: No, I won’t think like that! - this is somehow stupid - I’m used to thinking like this and thinking the old fashioned way (along the problematic path)! However, if you think in a new way and ask questions: - why do I need this? - And what positive experience did I get from this? - A what is the positive meaning in what happened? - And what benefits for me are in this, including secondary ones? - And what valuable happened? - And what discovery follows from this situation? - And what solution can there be? - What if If there were many different solutions, which would be the best? From the beginning this is not usual. It's like doing fitness for the first time. Sometimes you go after a long break and cannot do pull-ups or push-ups even a couple or three times, but gradually starting to exercise, this is the same brain fitness. If you train yourself to ask yourself such questions, listening to how our brain resists, then after a while it becomes a habit. Successful people - even without realizing it to themselves, they actually don’t understand that this is exactly how they think. That is, they do not get hung up on the problem, but instantly intuitively, even in a split second, translate it into a task and begin searching for a solution. That is, 2 different ways of thinking! Look for a problem and turn it around with reasons and a search for those to blame, wrap it in thought viruses and make it an even bigger problem, or instantly translate it into a problem and see - there is probably a solution - for sure - even many. Which one is the best. Some people think: they are successful - but I’m like that. And then you can re-educate yourself into a successful person! The only question is: why? After all, it’s convenient to remain as you are! I want to slip into our past, into our school. When a 7-year-old child comes to school, after a while - an amazing period begins in his life - every day he begins to find out what he is did it wrong. Every day he receives a notebook with mistakes marked in red. (in Japanese schools, successful places are marked in red). Every day, receiving what he did, no one focuses his attention on what of what he did was good? No one says that you did better today! Or that today you turned out smoother than yesterday, and tomorrow it will be smoother than today. Every day the child receives a report about what he did wrong. And now if you imagine that a child is in school 250 days a year and multiply by 10 years. Then it is understandable, and even surprising, how such people manage to slip through the bars of this system of losers and still learn to be successful. Some elementary school teachers are surprisingly caring and good - they put “suns”, “smiles” next to successful moments - but the child will come to the 4th grade and there will be no “suns” there, every time there will be a review of failed flights! What I mean is that our brain learns, and it learns when something is repeated (naturally). Unfortunately, in life, as a matter of fact, we know how and consider it correct to focus on what is wrong! When women come to me for consultations and complain about their husbands, they tell me about what their husbands have not this way! And they can list for a long time, but when you ask them the question: what is good about a husband? As a rule, they answer: “What difference does it make when everything is so bad!!!” We are not taught to think positively. Most likely it’s not our fault – it’s the costs of upbringing. We are not taught to focus on the good. And many people will say, why bother?complacency when we have so much wrong! Then we teach the child and teach ourselves to focus on what is wrong - this is the path to neurosis and other illnesses. By the way, if you learn to translate a problem into a task, and translate an error into a discovery, then for example for a child who dropped a vase it will look like this: “Look, you made a mistake, don’t walk past this table.” Or “Why did you put it on the edge?!” (negative thinking) Instead, say, “Wow – what a cool discovery you just made – turns out that if it falls, it breaks!” (thinking of a successful person) And focus the child on discovery. Look, most of the discoveries were made precisely thanks to mistakes. On the one hand, readers agree, but on the other hand, I suspect a roar of indignation - “But he will walk again and break the vase again.” Keep in mind - these are your interpretations - this is a sick property of our brain - fantasizing about bad things is another dance step of our brain! He just likes to think about what is bad. We are so accustomed. They are trained to focus on the bad. Again, it’s like brain fitness. If you start retraining your brain little by little, then (I think it takes about 3 months to retrain your brain) you will get positive results. We are adults and it’s worth it! This is what I want to say: You often come across the following thesis - that our unconscious is very wise and it always gives us the best behavior. In neuro-linguistic programming there is such a presupposition (assumption) - that “Every behavior is the best choice at the moment” And here I want to say that I have come across the fact that many people like to justify themselves in this way: Well, my unconscious knows better. And if we look more closely, then in some people the unconscious believes that the best behavior is to jump from the roof - so to speak, it is the unconscious that suggested this behavior to it. Or he considers the best behavior to be drinking more and more alcohol every day! Or a heroin injection! And what is it - what is the matter? Here I would like to give one piece of advice - a recommendation for those people who want to improve their lives and do not want to remain slaves to their habits and bring them into consciousness. What if after each significant event (either it will be a training or a seminar, or some kind of film or a meeting or some kind of event) If you take 1 -2 -3 minutes and ask yourself magic questions: What was valuable to me now? What valuable experience or gift did this contain for me? What useful things can I get from here? ?How can I use this in my life?How can I use this to improve the relationships in my life?How can I use this to improve my work?How can I use this to improve myself!What did this meeting or this experience teach me? And if you ask yourself questions in this way, then (I understand that I’m lazy, I don’t even pretend to be some kind of rescuer) but suddenly 1 or 2 people who read this and start doing this!!! And if we do this, then we help amazing things happen! When something happens in our life: (or our meetings, or watching a movie or a seminar, or a training or event), then all this accumulates in our unconscious as experience - unconscious experience - in fact, we remember everything that happened in our life (only not consciously) and, in principle, our unconscious is huge and wise and all that..., but if we do not bring (our experience) from the unconscious into the conscious, then we cannot control it. Because if we are not aware of something (for example, we are not aware of our habit of picking our nose or our habit of biting our nails), if we are not consciously aware of something, then we cannot control it and therefore cannot use it at all, Therefore, many people find themselves, for example, in a chain of trainings - from training to training, from training to training. Or some other recurring problem. And they don’t ask themselves the question: “How can I do this?”!