From the author: how to communicate with a child? The scream of an adult can truly terrify a child’s soul! And by the way, there is order in the apartment, in socks and in life. Is it so? Do you allow yourself to be angry with your child? And what methods do you use to express this very anger? And what actually lies in anger, screaming, aggression, besides the parent’s fatigue and lack of sleep? Your child needs your love most when he deserves it least. E. Bombek “to achieve by shouting” - usually this is how children also try to control the behavior of their parents. and yelling at a child really becomes useless over time. The threshold of sensitivity changes. As with the mother, so with the child. Another nuance. It is not the personality that needs to be condemned, but the behavior. That is: “I’m so angry that you did such and such.” To the ban: "I'm so angry that you........and variations:". That is, DO NOT ATTRIBUTE CERTAIN ACTIONS TO A PERSON. example: “I’m so angry that you’re lazy! Put away the toys!” replacement: “I’m so angry that you scattered the toys, and then there’s an incentive-example: let’s put them away together, and then there’s reinforcement and increased motivation: the toys live here and there, they want to sleep in their houses, let’s take them to house on a shelf, in a closet." and immediately the mother begins a dialogue with the toy: “Really, Mishka, do you want to go to sleep on the shelf?” “Yes,” says the mother in a different voice,” and so on. In general, CREATIVITY. and explaining your anger is necessary, because in addition to the general there is also an emotional intelligence. If you don’t tell your child about your feelings, he will not be particularly interested in them in the future from you and others. Emotional empathy is born when one begins to talk about his feelings. Sometimes we literally try to shout to the child. , excluding age-related characteristics. A child of two years old, and even a little more, due to age-related characteristics, is not yet ready to understand someone else’s pain, fatigue. He is still selfish, and this is correct, because the mother does not start talking in a raised tone immediately after the birth of the child. leads the mother to scream? Psychoanalysis can say that this is the mother’s inner child screaming, which is why, instead of communicating with the child, it turns out to be a scream and the so-called “chase”, when the mother hurries the child to get dressed or go. By the way, the Chinese walk with the child at the same speed of the baby or sit the child on themselves. being tired, irritable and exhausted is normal and good. Imagine if we didn't feel irritated, tired and exhausted? Another thing is what do we do about it? we leave it, we drown it out, we extinguish it. And the means are great now - coffee, antibiotics, cigarettes, painkillers, all kinds of energy drinks and boosters - faster, higher, more, turn up the speed, activate assets, cut down, dump and - this is happiness? .....or allow your inner child to feel and be. And don't shout. A cry is helplessness, a cry is a request, an ardent request for help. When you are close to your child. Isn’t this what the Japanese are trying to achieve when their teachers squat around their children? How terrible is the picture of a giant hanging over you and screaming at the same time? Constantly scattered toys, uncleaned things, scattered plasticine and spilled paints, crumbs on the table and on the sofa and behind the sofa - a picture repeated day after day can throw more than one person out of psychological balance Neuropsychologists say that it takes about 40 repetitions to form a new neural connection. Julia Gippenreiter in the books “Do we continue to communicate with the child like this?” writes about things written long ago by Vygotsky. Namely, the immediate zone of development is wider, the more actions and situations are done TOGETHER. If you want the child to put away toys - TOGETHER, PLEASE. And he pours out the soup - how much for the child? And under what circumstances does he do this? Why am I talking about developmental zones? then, that a mother’s personal creativity (as one of the ways to escape from washing, cleaning, cooking) is cool, but CO-creativity is even more interesting and difficult.