From the author: The article was published on 04/02/10 on the women's portal about style and psychology. Jealousy is the main cause not only of family conflicts, but can also give rise to depression, neuroses and other mental disorders. Why does unreasonable jealousy arise? How to deal with this feeling? What do psychologists advise if you suddenly feel that you have become jealous of your man, even of a “lamppost”? Research from the New York center for family psychotherapy “Psy Family Therapy” has shown that the main cause of family problems and divorces is jealousy. Moreover, jealousy often occurs without cause at first glance. For example, jealousy of the past. When a girl or young man begins to be jealous of his other half towards his previous partner. Here, a feeling of curiosity and comparison between oneself and “the one who came before me” instinctively enters. What did she look like? How did you behave in intimacy? How does he feel about her now? Psychologists say that if such questions become intrusive, then your jealousy may come out. And this, in turn, can lead to negative consequences specifically for your mental health. The main reasons for unreasonable and excessive jealousy may be: low self-esteem, self-doubt or, conversely, over-confidence. Despite the fact that interest in your man’s past life , may be completely justified, and may even be very useful for your relationship, you should not cross the line and start comparing yourself with his ex-girlfriend and drawing conclusions that are incorrect. If his ex-girlfriend was a short-haired brunette, and you are a long-haired blonde, this does not mean that she is more attractive to him in appearance than you. It may just be the other way around. He is with you now. Try to find the reason for your jealousy. This is important, because finding out the cause of the problem is already half the solution. Therefore, it is important to discover the source of jealousy. If this feeling is based on self-doubt, then you are afraid of losing a person, believing that he will probably find someone better. And if this is the case, then you should consult a psychologist or take a course of training to increase self-confidence. This could include public speaking training, acting training, and dance-movement therapy. In general, all these activities will help you pay attention to your best and strengths, thanks to which you can easily overcome your jealousy and enjoy life. Simple instructions1. Talk to your man Before you start a conversation, try to calm down and relax. Be clear about why you feel jealous, explain your concerns, and tell him how he can help you. If your jealousy comes from your boyfriend's past relationships, be sure to pay attention to this. Most likely, your partner will understand you and change their behavior in an attempt to restore trust in themselves. If the reason for jealousy is your low self-esteem, then ask your man to tell you nice words and compliments more often. Tell him to never compare you to other girls. At least in front of you.2. Increase your self-esteem every day Look at yourself on the positive side. Accept yourself for who you are. You don't have to try to be like someone else. You are a unique individual. Take up fitness and dancing. Discover new talents and do what you love. Thus, you will be less emotionally dependent on your partner and will be able to please yourself more with your new victories.3. Take care of your mental health Remember that all your worries about jealousy or suspicions of your boyfriend’s betrayal are meaningless. If he wants to cheat on you, he will do it regardless of whether you are jealous or not. And with your jealousy, you will not only push him away from you, but create a threat to your mental health. Since with excessive