From the author: Answers to customer questions. Consultations by e-mail. In more detail: Help me understand the problem Question Hello, I would like to ask for help in order to somehow understand the current situation. I tried a lot of things myself but I can’t find a solution, help me figure out the problem. We have been living with our common-law husband for a whole year; we just dated for 4 months out of the year. There was especially no romance, he never gave me flowers, he explained that he didn’t know how to give them, didn’t know how to present them, although despite this he tolerated my whims, I am sometimes unbearable, I endured them in silence. The entire time we were dating, his ex-girlfriend was pregnant. I found out that she was pregnant 1.5 months before the birth of the child. When I asked if he was in touch with his ex, he said no, after the news that his ex was expecting a child, frequent scandals began. I tried to restrain myself, realizing that scandals would not lead to good things, but I could not restrain myself. True, he had the strength to offer him to meet his child, but his ex didn’t allow it at first. Then she started texting and calling. And one fine day I talked to her in the presence of my husband, he was not against our “warm communication”. I have a child from another marriage, he lived with his mother, but his mother got sick, so I had to take the child to us. The child is 3.5. The child did not have much contact with his father. I decided for some time for the child to live with his mother again. After the child was taken to his mother again, something completely went wrong in our relationship. My husband became somehow aggressive (I don’t connect this with the child’s departure). I started drinking on weekends, although I had never been a teetotaler before. But lately, if he gets drunk, he gets very drunk and shows aggression (he doesn’t let go of his hands yet). I’m trying to soften it somehow, be affectionate, but I’m consumed by resentment, because I don’t see any attempts on his part to use it, only more and more aggression. We stopped talking; if I ask a question about our future life, my husband remains silent or says that he has a headache. Although he communicates with his mother without tension. Maybe he wants to break off our relationship, but cannot say so directly? Tell me what to do and how to behave? I'm running out of strength every day and I want to end this relationship. But no matter what, I want to preserve our relationship. Sincerely, Maria. Answer Hello, Maria! Maria, there is no chance in your relationship. Your husband should go to the woman who is raising his child. There are certain laws - orders of relationships in the family. There is a hierarchy of relationships. First there was this woman, and then you. When you learned about the possibility of having a child, you already had to leave your husband. You always speak disrespectfully about this woman, and in a case like this, it means you don’t respect your husband. Your husband, his child and the mother of his child have created a new family system, even if they do not live together. There is no place for you in it now. You see and experience it yourself. The best decision today is to let your husband go and give him the opportunity to sort out that family himself, without your interference. Resentment and anger will not help you. We need to accept this situation with gratitude for the lesson. This is the only way you have a future in relationships with men. And then, time will tell... Sincerely, Zhanna Kurkova.