How to conflict without harming yourself and others? We are afraid to conflict, we consider it wrong and often hide our anger. Sometimes we experience anxiety that our anger will get out of control. Perhaps in your family it was impossible to be angry. Or there is a belief that anger is bad. Or that you can get so angry that you lose control of your behavior. Then you will not be able to conflict, get angry and think at the same time. You often want to hide anger. But hiding anger harms both yourself and relationships. After all, the tension from anger has not gone away, but has accumulated in the body and is “phoning.” You feel it. Your body feels it. Your relationship feels it. Other people also feel this tension from anger. Hiding anger means running away from the situation and not solving it. After this, as a rule, anxiety also arises. The situation is not resolved on its own and this can trigger background anxiety. Why is it background, because, which is not realized. We get used to living in a state of unfinished conflict. There, in this unfinished situation of conflict, a lot of strength and energy goes into, as if into a black bottomless hole. It takes away a lot of strength. The fact is that with anxiety, its emotional affect is recorded in the biochemistry of the blood. Adrenaline, cortisol and inflammatory mediators are released. They create muscle clamps in the body and spasms of blood vessels. Therefore, non-acceptance of anger, anxiety and unfinished conflict harm us so much. What then should we do, since the conflict will not be resolved on its own? Go into conflict. Only consciously. If you have a lot of anger, you can breathe it out: inhale and exhale slowly. Do this at least 15 times. This gives a feeling of balance. Think about what the worst thing could happen to you if you get angry and clarify the situation. Write down all the pros and cons. You need to resolve this conflict. Then try to look at the situation from the outside. And tell your interlocutor your feelings, why you are angry and how you want to resolve the issue. Be sure to clarify how the other person sees this situation. Together you can select several solutions and discuss everything. How do you resolve conflicts? Galina Martynyuk, psychosomatologist, doctor and scenario psychologist, WhatsApp 89164041162