I once heard from my client: “No matter where I am and no matter what I do, I can’t find a place for myself...” Perhaps you are also familiar with this state, when everything inside is torn to pieces, you want to run somewhere, do something, so that only everything inside will calm down. But nothing changes... A real story about how to find your place in life. “With complete external well-being, I don’t know what to do with myself. During the day, I dream of returning home and crawling under a warm blanket with a cup of hot tea and reading my favorite book. I come and lie around with a book, but there’s no buzz. I have many favorite interesting things to do, but it’s the same story. I think: “Now I’ll do this - and all the inner toil will go away.” But nothing goes away…” Zhanna admitted. From a deck of metaphorical associative cards, I suggest the client choose one card at random that will tell about this state and imagine that she is inside this card. She pulled out this card: Me: - Are you some kind of character on this card or are you watching what is happening? Zhanna: - I am a little red kitten. Me: - Where are you? What would you call this place? Zhanna: — This is a river. Quiet peaceful place. Very beautiful. But I, like a kitten, don’t notice anything. I am very much afraid of the cat, and the most important thing for me now is to swim as far away from him as possible. Me: - How do you feel as a kitten? Zhanna: - I’m very tired. I'm cold. I hardly feel my body. Only their paws - they row all the time. I think whether they have enough strength to get to a safe place. Me: - Do you see this safe place? Zhanna: - No. I don't see anything around me. The biggest is 20-30 cm in front of you. Just one thought: “Will I stand it or not?” Me: “How did you end up in the river?” Zhanna: “I was walking along the river bank. I ran away from home. More precisely, he did not run away, but quietly left. I knew that there was a very beautiful river near my house. But I was not allowed to go there. They only showed it sometimes. They took me out onto a hill and let me admire it, but warned me that I couldn’t go there. Why it’s not possible and when it will be possible was not explained. And I really wanted to take a walk there and see the world. I went for a walk without warning anyone. I was scared, but I went alone anyway. And then this huge cat appeared. I was walking very close to the river and out of surprise and fear I fell into the river. I started to escape from this cat. It is very big and scary. Me: - For what purpose, why can you be on the bank of the river? Zhanna: - To learn something new, to be free, in nature, to get high. Me: - What inspires fear in you when you find yourself on the shore? Zhanna: — It’s hard to say. There is no external threat, but it’s as if I’m waiting for something bad, scary. Me: - Maybe they can punish you if they see that you went for a walk without asking? Zhanna: - No, they’ll just take me home, scold me a little, ask for more don’t do that. Me: — What’s life like at your home? Zhanna: — Reminds me of “Groundhog Day.” It seems that everything is possible, but in a strictly limited area. And in a limited space there is little you can do. And even interesting and favorite things get boring... Me: - That is, they won’t let you out of the yard? How do they justify this? Zhanna: “It’s difficult for me to answer this question.” You just can’t, “because gladiolus.” Rather, they tell me that there is nothing good there, and all I need is here at home. And that's enough. And there, on the river bank, there may be all sorts of surprises that you cannot cope with if you go yourself. With us, everything is possible, we will “settle” everything and decide. Me: — That is, if you had gone with someone from your family, this situation would not have happened? Zhanna: — Yes, if my kitten was not alone, but with big cats, he wouldn't be scared. Adult cats would solve all the problems along the way. BUT! Firstly, adult cats don’t have that much time to hang out with a small cat. Secondly, the little cat wants to go for a walk on his own. With the big ones, of course, it’s not scary, but it’s not interesting, because then you walk by their rules. “Go there”, “put your paws like this”, “press your tail”. And it’s completely unclear whether you’re walking, enjoying life, or thinking about how to move andwhere. Me: — What does this place make you think about? What do you want here? Zhanna: — If there were no scary cat and adult domestic cats, I want to have fun, do interesting things and enjoy it. I want to get active! But any activity is suppressed; if they see it, they will stop it. They will take you back home and will watch even more closely so that you don’t run away. Me: — Why can’t you be active? Zhanna: — This is from the series “Whatever happens…” Me: — This “whatever happens” can happen to you, you can imagine harm? Zhanna: - No, more likely, other cats. They will come and hurt the little kitten. He won't be able to cope with these bullies. He will be very unhappy and lonely. Me: — What memories can be associated with your story about the red kitten? Zhanna: — This is not a specific story. This is my whole life as a child. At home I could do whatever I wanted. Well, within reasonable limits, of course. And when I found myself somewhere outside the house, I always felt anxious. I didn’t like kindergarten, but not because it was uninteresting, but because there was eternal anxiety inside. It’s the same story in school, especially in elementary school. But then I somehow got used to it. The same picture occurs in children's camps and sanatoriums. I couldn’t concentrate on anything external, because inside I was always restless, anxious. Now that I told you this, I realized that this was due to the feeling that I couldn’t cope with anything on my own. That I'm completely helpless. My parents always tried to solve all my questions for me. Moreover, when I say everything, it is in the literal sense of the word “EVERYTHING”. As soon as I shared something with them, they took off and rushed to “resolve” the situation. Sometimes they did it behind my back. At school, I complained about the math teacher, and the next day I met my mother at school, who was explaining something to this teacher. She didn’t scream, but with tears in her eyes explained that I was a special, very “subtle” child, and that she needed to communicate with me very carefully. Another time she told her parents that she didn’t have time to finish one task in the test because she was helping a friend who “ stuck” and could get a pair. Mom gave her such a scandal that we stopped being friends. Because of such activity of parents at school, they somehow avoided me and, no matter what I did, they didn’t really want to be friends with me. You won’t believe it! When I got my first job, worked there for three years and was about to move to another, the boss did not want to let me go. Dad, behind my back, arranged a showdown with him, after which they signed a letter of resignation for me. I found out that dad was coming by accident. Me: — What you just told me could be connected with your state of this internal discord and the fact that you cannot find a place for yourself? Zhanna: — My parents died. Dad - 16 years ago, mom - 11. Now there are no adult cats next to me who will sort everything out and “sort it out”. But the feeling that I couldn’t cope on my own, that I wasn’t capable of anything on my own, remained. It felt like my place was next to my parents. There are none and I don’t have room. Me: - Let’s look at the map again. From your story, it turns out that when faced with something big and unknown, you fall into the river, try to escape from it, and don’t see where you are swimming. How can this metaphor be translated into your life? Zhanna: — That’s how it turns out. I have a small business. I do things in small ways, and when I come across something new and incomprehensible, including the expansion of my business, I get scared, get involved in some dubious activities (I fall into the river) and instead of developing, I screw everything up paws to survive, and where - it’s unclear, but from development and expansion for sure. Me: - For a ginger kitten, is a big gray cat really a danger? Zhanna: - No, he just came for a drink. Me: - How does a big cat treat a small kitten ? Does he see him? Zhanna: - Yes, he sees him. The big cat is friendly. He doesn't think that the little kitten is afraid of him and swims away from him. He thinks that the kitten is just bathing, although it is strange. Cats don't like».